1: Reflect on the top five domestic tasks you often feel create issues, what do you think the % allocation is, and what you would like for it to be? - Child’s laundry - 90/10% - Tidying the home - 60/40% - Organizing clutter - 80/20% - Bill transactions - 20/80% - Child care - 80/20% 2: Identify 10 invisible labor tasks in your home that weigh the most - Keeping bathroom stocked - Keeping laundry room stocked - House night shift closing - Grocery shopping for adequate nutrition to be able to effectively breastfeed - Planning & scheduling family appointments/activities - Child care purchases 3: Where does your family draw comparison with the man on the airplane story? - In many cases, I find that my mind is racing with many different thoughts about what is to happen in the home or for the home. While I know that my husband has just as many things on his mind, I think they’re more about work related tasks. There’s a disconnect there that builds my resentment because I manage work tasks and home responsibilities seemingly 24/7, whereas I feel that when his steps out of the house, that door closes both mentally and physically for him.    4: Discuss the concept of the "mommy tax" or equivalent in your relationship. What sacrifices are currently or will need to be made? - I work remotely from my home. Naturally, it felt like an automatic decision to have our newborn son be at home during that time as well. I almost felt guilty at the thought of him being anywhere else, because it just “made sense” that my being at home allowed flexibility for it and anything else meant that I was neglecting my responsibilities as a mother. In no way has this been easy. I have frequent help in the home during the day to keep him taken care of, but breastfeeding alone eats away at my productivity. When my help is not there, I’m juggling baby and meetings on camera, muting and unmuting between coos and outbursts by my son, and deciding whether my break between those meetings means that should I eat or use the restroom, never both. I’m only 3 weeks in my return to work from maternity leave and I’m already feeling like everything is going at lighting speed and I’m just trying to keep up. Work opportunities have presented themselves and I’m thinking about how I likely won’t be able to participate because I can’t break away from motherhood, in comparison to my husband who’s work life can stay afloat because he can focus and go freely simply because of this social construct.

Hi everyone! I’m Candice, a Physical Therapist serving active duty in Oklahoma. New to Fair Play alongside my husband, Jordan. We’ve been together for 12 years and married 3 years. We have recently been blessed with our 3 month old son, who is a wonderful addition to our existing family of three, which includes my stepdaughter. We’ll be joining the next cohort, so we’re mostly looking forward to understanding and implementing what the program has to offer.