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The magic and difficulty of the word, "No". [Part 1]
“People think focus means saying yes to the thing you've got to focus on. But that's not what it means at all... Innovation is saying no to 1,000 things.” ~Steve Jobs Somehow, those humble two little letters are some of the most difficult, and simultaneously the most freeing, letters ever combined into an English word. No. It defines a boundary. This post is the first of a series. To start, we'll be talking about the boundary of spaces. For years, I struggled with boundaries. I love to create, to build things, imagine new tools, but I found myself saying yes to every project, every request, and every distraction that came my way. My workspace was a chaotic blend of personal and professional life, with no clear divisions. projects blurred together and layered on top of each other. Spacial boundaries was a nearly non-existent concept when I was a kid growing up. Everything was everywhere. And I did not really have much of a space to my own. Schoolwork and random projects all happened in shared spaces, and a good portion of the work was simply finding and gathering everything needed for each project so that you could begin. My main conflict wasn't a lack of skill or ambition—it was my lack of setting boundaries. This manifested in two critical areas: 1. Spatial Boundaries: Growing up, I never had a dedicated space for my projects. Everything happened in shared, very disorganized spaces, and half the battle was just finding and gathering materials to begin work. Even after moving out on my own, I struggled to create distinct areas for different aspects of my life. 2. Time Boundaries: Without clear work hours, I found myself constantly "on," researching problems at midnight and pounding away at a keyboard during what should have been family time. There are some times where having a dedicated space all to your own for each project simply is not an option. There are, however, still things you can do to carve out your own space, even when you share a workspace or a living-space with others.
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New comment 28d ago
2 likes • Oct 17
yes, ive been working on the "no" mindset... in that saying no to this means saying yes to that. Jobs' quote is powerful.
You do not have a consistency problem. You have a systems problem.
In a world obsessed with motivation and discipline, it's easy to overlook a crucial truth: systems trump willpower every time. The other day I walked into a friend's house for a visit. I was met with a surprise. "What happened?" I puzzled as I surveyed the wreckage. The once decorative, beautiful, simple environment I had seen before had been completely transformed into a cluttered catastrophe. "Well, this... and that... happened... and then.... but also...." The further the conversation went, the clearer the problem became. There was no structure set or systems made for outflow, only input. So as more and more projects came into the living space, the harder it became to keep things free of clutter. One project piled on top of the next. Setup Simple Guidelines "You must eat your dinner before you may have dessert." A line I heard often growing up. Just like art, freedom is not the marvel it's often thought to be. Constraints magnify creativity. Constraints also give you the structure you need to have creative freedom. - Put first things first. - Work out what your priorities are. And make it a rule to "work before play." - Learn your weaknesses. Plan accordingly to how you have the most brain power to put it to its best use. Other things that don't take much thought, schedule for when you're mentally fatigued. Create a Failure Plan Prepare for obstacles in advance to maintain momentum. Identify potential roadblocks and create specific "if-then" plans. For example, "If I miss a workout, then I'll do a 10-minute home exercise routine." This system ensures minor setbacks don't derail your progress. Adopt the Minimum Viable Effort Approach Set absurdly low daily targets to maintain consistency. If you want to write a book, commit to writing just 50 words a day. If you want to tidy your living space, follow the Boy Scout rule and always leave it at least a little nicer than you found it. Tiny commitments are easy to keep, so don't raise the bar. Just do extra when you want. Better to keep making a little progress over time than to workout extremely intensely for 18 hours straight never to do it again.
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New comment Oct 17
0 likes • Oct 17
so many wonderful points @Benjamin Cherry - especially love the "if-then plans" and the idea that "constraints magnify creativity" !
Breakthough! (Update + Take-aways)
I don't think I've ever had a cold quite like this before in my life. It's been going on for about six weeks now if I'm not mistaken. Technically, I still have it, but I found a huge breakthrough. A two minute cold shower. Directly after rising and drinking water. I know, I know, sounds terrible and miserable. The first time I heard about it,I decided to give a try and "Yiiiiiiiiiiiikes!" I promptly decided they were NOT FOR ME. But then fast forward a few years and upon hearing about all the various health benefits over and over again, I decided to give it another go. This time, a lot more carefully and gradually instead of just dialing it directly to cold and waiting for impact. Instead, I simply oscillated back and forth, just slightly beyond my comfort range. That got me to taking hot, then cold showers much more quickly than I anticipated, and I had an epiphany: It is not the cold shower itself that is miserable, or hard, or terrible -- It is the anticipation. Once I relaxed into it and started paying attention to actual how I actually felt, I realized I didn't actually hurt very much at all. I just thought it would. Now, perhaps you're thinking... "That's crazy. There's no way that would actually be true for me. He's just some tough Alaskan dude." I assure you, this is not the case. I was raised very sedentary and not so very adventurous. Moving to Alaska was a "jump off the cliff", so to speak. I'm not "naturally" brave or anything like that. But you can get their by choice. By choice, and by deliberate practice. The key is to work into it gradually, just going ever so slightly beyond your comfort zone with each step. Now, I can jump straight into a cold shower. Now, I am jumping out of the realm of barely surviving, to that of being able to get two steps ahead of the game. (Or more accurately, able to catch up, two and three steps faster per-day than I would be able to otherwise 😅) --- What can I learn from this? - Next time you find yourself stuck, find a way to ease into it, a way to break it down into small chunks. Gain some leverage by hiring a coach, or by bouncing your ideas off someone else, for feedback and a third perspective.
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New comment Oct 17
2 likes • Oct 6
Wise reflection on a fascinating phenomena! I’ve been practicing cold showers over recent years and as someone who HATES being cold, and have learned it’s not as bad as I thought. However, I took my first ice bath this year… now that, is … painful… but ultimately also amazing
So you want to build a business...
Make the process fun. And make it seamless. Ideally, you want there to be as little friction as possible between your ideas and your published content. Get a dedicated camera and camera stand for recording videos, for instance, in a space that is always "ready to roll" when you are going to record something. Always be ready to capture an idea. Personally, I like having a dedicated voice recorder. As well as a notepad handy in all areas. Take note of areas that are particularly tedious, and either figure out a way to make it enjoyable or find a way to delegate it out to someone else or see if it's something that you can skip. Sometimes the things we think we have to do are not so necessary as we would think. In other words, the customer doesn't really care. It doesn't make a bunch of difference in terms of solving or not solving their problem. Talk to people. Get feedback early and often. What we think the customer cares about, and what they actually care about are often two very different things.
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New comment Oct 2
1 like • Oct 2
i just got the Plaud voice recorder to reduce friction and I think it may be a game changer! tbc
Thoughts on Moving
I am not a huge fan of moving. But, in spite of that, I have done it a number of times in the last ten years. Moving creates a challenge, and is one of the highest reported stress factors for those living in the US. But it is also an opportunity. Relocating forces us to confront our possessions, habits, and priorities, offering a rare chance for personal growth and reinvention. Declutter Your Life Moving compels you to evaluate every item you own. Perhaps it's different in other cultures, but here in the West, very often I feel like we value our stuff, more than is healthy. Moving gives you an opportunity to reassess all that. Anytime I'm organizing something, I like to do it based on frequency of use. Things that get used daily are high priority and things that get used less often are low priority, similar principle applies to moving. Things that get used often are most likely to be kept, and everything else should be reconsidered whether to keep it or not. - Donate or sell items you haven't used in a year - Digitize important documents and photos - While you are at it, may not hurt to reorganize your folders and delete old documents as well. Reassess Your Relationships Geographical distance provides perspective on your social connections. Take this chance to: - Identify which relationships truly matter - Plan regular video calls with distant friends - Join local groups in your new area to expand your network Redefine Your Routines A new environment disrupts ingrained habits. Capitalize on this by: - Establishing a morning routine that sets you up for success - Exploring your new neighborhood to find inspiring spots - Creating a dedicated workspace if you work from home Embrace New Opportunities Moving opens doors to experiences you might have overlooked. Make the most of it: - Research local events and attractions - Try cuisine unique to your new area - Consider taking up a new hobby or class unique to your new location.
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New comment Oct 2
1 like • Oct 2
Of course I appreciate this post so much right now! I definetely value the opportunity the move places in being able to rebuild a new routine, everything is changing and because of that I see it as the easiest time to end bad habits and bring on new good habits.
2 likes • Oct 2
@Samantha Potter yes! I am making the first big move of my life and letting go of so many possessions has been emotional but so free-ing, and it's brought to light that some of my closest circles of friends and family here have not been serving me and it will be healthy for me to break away from that.
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Kalia Zizi
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@kalia-barrow-3110
I am inclined to developing theories and trying to apply them to practice and my lived experience or to creative entrepreneurial endeavors!

Active 21d ago
Joined Sep 11, 2024
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