My wife has signed a new contract for her consulting business and also started booking fall photo shoots for her photog business. When she shared this, I was very happy for her until I recognized the look on her face. 1) There are still have a ton of small and big projects that need to get done before Thanksgiving 2) We have a new baby in the family in Michigan that we need to travel to see. When can we schedule that? 3) We still have a fair amount of furniture to buy, before Thanksgiving. How are we going to squeeze that into the calendar and the budget? 4) There is a bunch of Fall yard work to be done to ensure our yard/lawn looks good in the Spring. This is weekend work - what Oct weekend can we dedicate to that? 5) She (we) hasn't had a vacation in about 5 years - is my husband planning something? If so, when? 6) Has she sent her cousin his bonus wedding photo book? 7) Should I change the color scheme in mom & days guest suite and bath? 8) Have we booked lodging for a Feb conference we're attending? 9) Have we made arrangements for someone to take care of the dog while we're at conference 10) Should we bring the dog with us to Michigan to visit the new baby? 11) We have a local (Chicago area) new baby, when are we going to be asked to come visit him and will I be asked to hold a new born photo session? 12) My passport (hers) needs to be renewed - where is my old one since we just moved 13) We had to reschedule our new driver's license appointments. Will my husband book soon (since I just got my hair done) or will we have to wait for later? 14) I know my husband asked me to keep the TN car title handy, where is it because I know we'll need it to register the car. Again - I think the best thing I can do, the most helpful thing - is to take those obvious items off of her plate and HANDLE THEM, but also ask her what would be most valuable and do those - communicating back that they are done.

With 90% of the flooring project finished (all that is left is my office which we're using to store the piano until the new hardwood floors in the formal living room are cured and ready for the weight), I was on Cloud 9 thinking "Yahooo! We're almost done!. Then I realized my wife was still in planning mode: 1) Are piano movers scheduled, paid for and CONFIRMED. 2) When can I gain access to the office to finish painting it 3) Will my husband remember to remove the old office light fixture and NOT INSTALL THE NEW ONE until AFTER I paint? 4) Is the office hardwood install crew scheduled, paid for and CONFIRMED. 5) What's the plan for putting all our furniture back on the new floors. Who's doing it and when. 6) I have to order felt pads for every leg of every piece of furniture to protect the new floors 7) My birthday is in a week. Will my husband have people in my house before I'm ready? 8) Where are the mums I ordered? 9) Is the smell coming from the new dryer fumes from having the floors done, or is there something wrong with it 10) Should I pre-order food for the holiday parties we're hosting based on space of our existing refrigerator or are we getting a new one, and if so, when? I need to step of my game and remove more of her mental load!!!

Continuation on the floor redo. We have four full baths in the house, one on the main level and three upstairs where the bedrooms are. My wife had just redone the main floor bath, putting a ton of herself into it. It was (and still is) breathtaking. The floor crew supervisor asked where his guys could use the restroom. I didn't want them upstairs, so I said main floor without thinking...and also without communicating. That's the oops part. They didn't leave it particularly tidy. I didn't step up and clean it. Now in addition to all the expected cleaning to get rid of dust from refinishing floors, she also has to painfully clean, and in some areas re-do, her beautiful bathroom. That opened up a can of mental worms for her as to what else they touched. Ended up, I made the correct choice, but I did it in a vacuum, which increased her mental load. That toothpaste I can't put back in the tube... :-(

Yesterday I wrote about the mental load my wife is carrying as this process started out. Today, the activities shifted to upstairs (our safe haven yesterday), and the mental load shifted to add to yesterday's list for two reasons: 1) Location/activity shift; 2) Lessons learned from yesterday. We have a dog and the floor installation crew a) is afraid of dogs and b) it would be an unsafe environment for the dog to be roaming around freely. With the shift to upstairs, we didn't realize that the replacement of the floors in the hallway meant we would have our doors open to all the bedrooms and my make shift office (in one of the bedrooms). All of this because I failed as a leader to gain a firm understanding of what the day would entail; and then communicate that. So, in addition to yesterday, my wife ended up having to think about 1) Changing my work station location to our master bath so my wife feels somewhat safe and not vulnerable to workers gathered in the doorway to our master bedroom and I can keep my eye on the dog. 2) New place to safely crate the dog 3) Changing dog water bowl location so it doesn't get covered in saw dust Plus the lessons learned from yesterday: (I came up with this last night and communicated to her, hopefully taking some mental load off of her plate): 1) Making sure we have access to things we didn't think about yesterday such as moving our dishwashing basin and dishwashing liquid to the utility sink in the laundry room 2) Moving our shake cannisters, blender cups and blender jars into the fridge 3) Moving our bottled water upstairs 4) Making sure the contractor van wasn't blocking us in the garage in case we needed to leave 5) Making provisions for UPS/delivery drivers to call us instead of ringing the doorbell in hopes we would hear over the the construction sounds. 6) Start thinking/planning for where we will get dinner (kitchen largely inaccessible) early in the day instead of waiting until dinner time 7) Improve my communications with the project manager about expectations tomorrow, before they leave for the day today.

In an earlier post, I mentioned we needed to have our floors redone. That "adventure" started this morning. Since we didn't have a good grasp on what room we would have access to in our house, on what date and at what time, my wife (totally without my knowledge) made sure: 1. She and I both had access to snacks 2. She and I both had access to clothes for working out and taking the door out. 3. We had access to the dog wipes 4. We had access to dog treats, food and water 5. She was in communication with the design consultant to ensure the right color stain was being ordered. 6. She was in communication with the project manager to ensure they remembered things like: Where the new in-floor outlets needed to be roughed in, we're wanting square shoe, not 1/4 round, don't cover up the fire place gas valve, let us know when the crew plans to break for lunch and end for the day. She's been phenomenal. I need to be better a driving the conversations to show her I am interested and invested in taking load off of her, so she feels safe letting go of the reins.