Good Guys Don't Straight Talk? · Brojo: The Integrity Army

Good Guys Don't Straight Talk?

Perhaps this is more about my family dynamics growing up, but it seems to be tied into my people pleasing / good guy-isms: My wife started asking me to only tell her straight-on what I want from her or a situation. Apparently, without even realizing it, I keep asking indirectly or "caveating" an entire context before asking for something, as if I'm always afraid the answer will be scary or create problems or reveal who I actually am. (I do this with everyone.)

I didn't think this was a big deal at first, but I'm still struggling to match my internal emotion/desire with a straightforward statement or question that is shed of all ambiguity. It feels like I'm learning to speak adult English for the first time. Identifying my internal emotion with a related statement somehow feels uncouth - or at least that's what I seem to have been justifying to myself internally for my entire life.

Honest Question: Has anyone else noticed themselves using this type of sideways conversations or a general reluctance to simply state their truthful desire to others? Or does everyone already know this and I'm coming late to the party?

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