Jan 19 (edited) in General discussion
Prison Break
I wish to share some writing that I created 10 years ago while I was addicted to the internet. It's crazy to think that the addiction continued for an additional 9 years (until I managed to quit all random entertainment and create a stable income with my business while only using the internet to learn and create), but this was the starting point where things began to change little by little.
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All these hours wasted in front of the computer screen, being addicted to watching TV series, playing games, or just mindlessly surfing Facebook and checking the mail account every 10 minutes… We can never get that time back.
Why? What’s the point of all this? If you can do anything or be anyone?
To just live without goals and let life drag you along… Is it really worth it? Being separated from society without creating any value. Is it really your true desire?
Or is it just your little box that you cherish so dearly, surrounding yourself with its walls like a prison cell you don't want to escape from? It feels so safe. It’s so easy, right?
The clock is ticking: tick-tock, tick-tock. Time is passing by, days just come one after another. Always the same loop, the same patterns.
Every waking up feels the same. Everything is so predictable. Sometimes there is some light shining through the wall cracks, but it’s only temporary. Or you just won’t look at it. You will entertain yourself a bit and take some peeks, but then turn around again and look away like the light never exists. Like you don’t have any purpose at all. No responsibility whatsoever. Totally separated from the world in your little bubble.
Your mind is telling you that everything is alright, like it’s totally rational. It uses different sentences learned from books or spiritual gurus and plays with them like it wants. When you see something about self-development or taking up challenges, pushing yourself, your mind says: „But why? Why should we push? Don’t resist anything. Resistance is bad, remember? You don’t have to do anything. You can just sit around all day and no one can judge you. Accept what is!“
Sometimes you feel that the mind has some strong points, but you are aware that its nature is very subjective and temporary. You are aware that a few days ago you felt completely different.
That emptiness what you are feeling is self-created. What you give, you will receive. If you just stop living, these feelings will obviously get to you. In the beginning, you may feel fine or say that procrastination is just temporary and justified, but gradually that emptiness will take you over. You are losing yourself step by step. Just because you let it.
It’s all your creation and you know it. These feelings tell you about your current subjective reality, not the reality what truly is. Don’t identify with them and believe that it’s forever. It’s not forever. These feelings will last until you take a step towards another road.
Even thinking and writing about it already makes you feel a step closer to freedom. You know you can break out any moment. You just have to make a choice here and now. Do you want to sleep or do you want to live? Do you want to consume or do you want to create? Do you want to be safe or do you want to be free and boundless?
You know the answer in your heart. YOU WANT TO BE FREE! You may feel some resistance to it, but if you would just let go of these empty feelings for a moment, you would know it’s true. Your soul is screaming. You want to break free and express yourself as a mighty and beautiful being you truly are. And you are already on your way…
Let go! You have temptations to stay inside your little box, but you are stronger than that. It feels painful to let go of your comfortable and safe prison cell, but you are more than these feelings. You are the awareness behind the feelings. They can’t control you; only you can allow them to control you. The thoughts rushing into your head remind you about all these wonderful aspects of being in jail are just thoughts. These are just patterns in your brain. If these thoughts were really telling you the truth, you wouldn’t even be here now. You came here because you were suffering from the suffocation these thoughts and desires caused. You didn’t feel happy at all. All you ever felt was just a temporary relief, which blinded you from the truth and helped you escape from your present reality.
But oh how they are trying to convince you to make yourself their little pet again. And it’s very easy to take their hands and go along with them to that same everlasting road of illusion. But this time you won’t do it. You are starting to understand now. You are seeing through their lies. And it’s just a matter of one choice. That one leap of faith. The jump to your freedom outside the prison walls. And you are starting to let go of the shackles once and for all.
At the last desperate moment, the ego is screaming at you: „Who you are without ME?!“ And you will shed some tears and answer: „I don’t know.“
You are free of the chains now. But you don’t know what to do anymore. You don’t know who you are. And that’s the beginning of your freedom. Your first realization as a true infinite being. Everything else will happen naturally afterwards.
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Prison Break
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