What's the toughest mental day you've experienced?

I went to school for electrical engineering. I wasn't particularly good at it, but I thought that's the career path I wanted to go down. I made it through with an average GPA. I was anxious to get out of my parents house so I applied for jobs all over the United States. I had job offers in Mississippi and Alaska, obviously I chose Alaska.

I worked for a small cooperative in Kodiak, Alaska for 5 years. A typical track for electrical engineers is to get their BSEE (Bachelor's of Science in Electrical Engineering), EIT (Engineer in Training certificate), and finally the PE (Professional Engineering license). I patiently waded through the BSEE, and I passed the EIT before graduating, it wasn't difficult compared to the degree I earned.

The PE, however, has a pathetic pass rate. It was only 42% the last time I checked. AND it requires 4 years of experience underneath another PE.

I won't bore your with the details, but essentially I didn't qualify for even taking the exam in Alaska because I was the only engineer working for the cooperative. I'm the only electrical engineer on the island and the Alaska board of engineers won't give me a pass. I tried everything, including reaching out to consulting engineers in Anchorage I knew, and I even asked my boss to write a letter of explanation, but no sympathy was given. That was just to take the test!

I'd been studying for the exam for several months at this point, and it was definitely frustrating to be told my time at the cooperative was useless without a PE to check my work.

Months went by, whenever I had a spare hour in the office I'd pull up the file where my PE stuff was and think about what I could do, or if I was stuck being an EIT. One day I had an idea. I'll get the license in another state and transfer it to Alaska. I checked the state reciprocity rules, and it seems to work.

I looked for options close to Kentucky, as my wife and I were going to visit for Christmas. Shoot, the closest destination is Chattanooga, Tennessee, and I only have 20 days to start studying again. No other times or dates were available. I guess I'll aim for a Tennessee license!

Nothing motivates like procrastination, I attempted to put 100 hours of studying into 20 days while working full time. I did not feel ready.

Test day came around, I spent 8 hours staring at a computer screen and working engineering problems, it was lovely (sarcasm).

Five days later, the results come in an email: FAIL.

I've never been so frustrated. Not only did the system seem to want me to fail, but I couldn't even pass the test to try to get to the transfer step. I'd be months away from another opportunity to take it, and I'd have to pay thousands more more travel and test again.

I had told myself that I would take it once just to see what happened, and I wouldn't take it again. That's not how my brain works though, I don't sit well with failure.

I have revisited that day many times since and have contemplated starting over. I hate failing, but more so I hate not having the opportunity to make it right. I've moved and changed career paths recently, but I will always be bothered by what I might have been able to do with my career if I had earned that PE. What if my other career plans don't work out? Will I have to start over with 4 years of experience just to take the exam again? It won't be easier the further removed from school I am! Oh well, water under the bridge, as they say.

What's one of your toughest mental challenges?

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