Reflections · MindChrysalis

Reflections

I recall Ryan mentioning a key moment in his healing, where he was just going about his day and realised that he actually felt kind of good / happy... for no reason.

While I am not at this point as of yet, I have been noticing in the past few weeks that I can become totally immersed in enjoying something I read, watch or listen to, despite not doing anz sessions for weeks (maybe more) now. As I was totally closed off from my emotions it took me a while to identify what it is, the confusion went from love to joy to happiness and around.

Now I am certain that I finally experienced genuine gratitude.

It was no longer a mental exercise.

It was, and still is, repeatedly, an honest appreciation of the fact that I exist to begin with. That I was born where and when I was born, regardless of the challenges I have to face. That I can go through the experiences I have and finally can feel them.

If you are struggling with being emotionally shut down, or not making progress, it's OK.

You will get there.

Trust your own pace, it's not a race. Though not with a specific goal in mind, but I did subject myself to media that made (and makes) me emotional. I did (and do) it in private so there was/is no fear of judgement or any interference from the external world. Ironically, it was more about numbing myself and trying not to look at my life... yet it turned out to be something great, an actual step forward. It simply took some time for the inner changes to mature and reach the surface.

If you are feeling lost, confused, not knowing what the next step is, it's OK.

You will get there.

Trust that you will find your own path unique to you, sometimes at the most unexpected places. It won't be and does not have to be identical or even very similar to someone else’s.

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