There’s a lot of talk about authenticity but very little effort to
precisely define what authenticity really means. You’ll often stumble
upon the new agey and feminized version of authenticity–the “just
be yourself” version of it. This is certainly not what I’m talking about
when I speak about authenticity. Authenticity matters, but not this
type of authenticity. This type of authenticity is ignorant, immature
and effeminate. It’s what women tell men because that’s how
women operate. But we are men, therefore different rules apply. A
woman can “just be herself” because she doesn’t have the burden
of performance, and even then, while she might always have some
simps falling for her, she too has to change her character to be
desirable for the type of man she actually truly wants.
Authenticity in means of “just be yourself” doesn’t exist. It’s an
illusion of the weak-minded. It relies on the illusion of unconditional
love and that other people are gonna treat us like our mothers. But
they won’t. And the earlier you realize this, the earlier you can
establish a fruitful connection with a woman.
Let us begin by defining what authenticity is NOT:
● “Just being yourself.” – No woman is gonna love you for “just
being yourself.” This is now how the world works. It’s
delusional to think that you can act however you want to
without consequences. Someone with rage issues might say,
“Oh, I’m just short-tempered.” Someone who constantly
overvalidates women might say, “Oh, I just have so much love
to give.” Ok, you might have, but nobody gives a shit. You’re
still not going to get what you desire that way.
● “You are perfect the way you are.” God dammit, who told you
that stuff? Imagine being so delusional and thinking that you
are perfect the way you are. Gross. Literally disgusting. This is
entitlement – something for “divine feminine goddesses,” who
think they possess some kind of superpower and want to be
worshiped and pedestalized – peak narcissism. You are not
perfect the way you are, and you never will be. There’s always
room for improvement.
● “If somebody doesn’t like you, it’s because of them, not you.”
MEGA COPE. This is self-gaslighting of the highest league. If
one person doesn’t like you, yeah, maybe it’s about them. But
if nobody likes you, it’s more likely a “you problem.” If one
woman rejects you, maybe it’s about her. But if all women
reject you, well, think. You receive constant feedback from the
world. If you never get what you desire, it must be about you.
Stop externalizing.
On the contrary, let’s talk about what authenticity really means:
● Having clear defined values and principles and being willing
to die for them. If you have no clear defined values and
principles you have no identity. A man has to know what he
stands for, or else he will fall for nothing. Integrity is the
cornerstone of wholeness. Without integrity, you will always
feel like an imposter.
● Understand what you want in life. A man is determined. A
man has a clear vision. A man is future-oriented. If you don’t
know what you want in life, you are gonna waste a lot of time
pursuing things that are actually meaningless to you (which is
the reason why modern men pursue women and sex).
● Be the man you owe yourself and your loved ones to be. See
how this strongly contradicts the “just be yourself?” Do you
know why? Because “just being yourself” is narcissistic
self-absorption, while being the man you owe yourself and
your loved ones to be is about virtue and honor. It’s about
what you HAVE to do, not what you FEEL like doing. This is
manhood.
To further deepen your understanding, let me give you an example:
A 4-year-old boy does not understand what self-constraint means.
He wears his emotions on his sleeves. If he feels like throwing a
tantrum, he will. If he feels like crying, he will. If he feels like going
on a rampage, he will. That’s because he’s a 4-year-old and it’s
acceptable behavior for a 4-year-old.
If you’d tell that 4-year-old to behave himself, it will feel pretentious
to him because it’s not what he wants to do right now. He’s not “just
being himself.” The same is true when you tell effeminate, modern
men to modify their behavior and do what’s right, not what they
feel like doing. When you tell them to not blow up a woman’s phone
after the first date because it’s creepy and desperate, they will tell
you, “I’m just gonna be myself, and if she doesn’t like it, I don’t care.”
Once again, MEGA COPE. It’s childish, immature, and delusional. It
doesn’t work. It’s not how life works.
Think about it this way:
● If you’re bad with women and you’re “just being yourself,”
guess what’s gonna happen – you’ll stay bad with women.
● If you’re broke and you’re “just being yourself,” guess what’s
gonna happen – you’ll stay broke.
● If you’re bad in business and you’re “just being yourself,” guess
what’s gonna happen – you’ll stay bad in business.
Life is about constant adaptation. Adapt or die. Survival of the fittest.
Eat or be eaten. Hunt or be hunted. Be predator or be prey. The laws
of the universe don’t care about your idealized and romanticized
version of love. If your “authentic self” isn’t getting you the results
you desire, well, guess what. Then you have to change yourself.
Become what you have to become in order to be successful.
In business this is self-explanatory. You know that in order to
become successful you need to constantly grow, adapt and become
better. You know that if you lack whatever you need for the success
in your business, you are going to fail. But with women it suddenly
becomes a different reality. A man ALWAYS has to craft himself in
whatever he needs to be in order to succeed in life. How he achieves
that is a matter of moral character. I’m not telling you to lie, cheat, or
steal. But when a man truly has to steal in order just to survive, can
you blame him? Survival supersedes morality. However, God will
judge you. I do believe in “do good and good will happen to you,”
therefore I do believe in the opposite as well, “do bad and bad will
happen to you.”
Let us now move our attention to WHY men are “just being
themselves” and why it’s a losing strategy. Men are “just being
themselves” because they want to be loved, rather than respected.
In other words, they put affection over respect, which is why they
will end up emasculated and cucked. The fundamental truth about
female nature is that women cannot love men whom they do not
respect. Neither can they submit themselves to them or sleep with
them. That is why weak men who allow themselves to be
disrespected end up in sexless marriages. Without respect, no
sexual desire.
The problem with those types of men is that they will provide for
the woman and think the mere act of providing is enough to receive
sex in return. But this couldn't be further from the truth. Women
crave strong leaders, independent minds, and dominant frames. But
these men will just provide and be passive about anything else.
Perhaps they work a job they hate but get well paid for. Then they
have sexual insecurities and are too scared to initiate sex. Most of
them are not in particularly good shape and don't really take care of
themselves either. All those things matter too.
But the most important things are confidence and dominance.
Women submit to strong men, and submission is required for
sexual desire because the very act of penetrating her is bodily
disrespect against the woman. If the man does not inspire
submission because he's too weak and lacks self-respect, a woman
will never allow herself to be penetrated by him. That is why
"respect over affection" should become one of your credos, if you
want to date successfully and have a successful marriage.
Women are merely humans, and all humans have an animalistic
nature. They’re not angelic beings. Not holy creatures. Not "divine
feminine goddesses." Many gurus in this space put too much
emphasis on women's spiritual nature. They live in an idealistic
world in which only good exists and no evil. The truth is that one
cannot exist without the other.
There's no spiritual nature without an animalistic nature. There is no
soul without a body. Both are inseparably linked to each other.
Hence, to inspire a woman's spiritual nature, you must first satisfy
her animalistic needs. A woman can be God-fearing but still not
attracted to you because you lack markers of physical
attractiveness. Humans are animals after all, and condemning our
animalistic nature merely because you believe in God is foolish and
naïve.
A woman will never love you if she does not respect you, and no
amount of spirituality will ever change that. Inspire submission by
being a strong man with an independent mind. Allow her to respect
you by holding high regard for yourself. A man is either respected or
he walks away because our dignity is all we have. Respect over
affection. Always.
Do you see that this has nothing to do with “just being yourself?”
No, it’s probably doing the exact opposite for most modern men. It’s
DENYING yourself. It’s being in touch with reality. Self-love without
ruthless self-examination and self-improvement is merely
self-delusion. If you’re not successful with women, there’s a reason
for it. And this means you will have to reject traits you currently
embody and adapt new traits. This is life. Adapt or die.