You are your biggest enemy
At the start of my self-improvement journey, I felt great. I was finally making progress, I was finally doing something with my life and as I continued to go on my path toward greatness I came to a point where I thought I knew everything. I made so much progress but eventually, I stopped and my ego took over. I saw myself as better than other people my age because I know about nofap and they don't lol. I thought I was superior to my peers and I acted that way towards them which made me seem like an arrogant piece of sh1t. Even worse I stopped progressing, I thought I was already at the end of my destination but soon enough life hit me in the face and I realized that I was holding myself back. My ego was holding my potential back and something had to change.
My ego inflated and got bigger and bigger as my achievements became bigger and bigger which is a huge problem. You probably know Connor Mc Gregor a professional MMA fighter who had huge success and became a world champion in his weight class. Once he achieved a huge amount of success he fell off, his ego blinded him and he started to train less, eat worse foods, and take more drugs. Therefore he lost his fight against Khabib Nurmagomedov and he took his throne. While Khabib Nurmagomedov was out there training and grinding to take on Connor Mc Gregor, Connor Mc Gregor was drowning in pleasure and neglecting his growth.
This just shows the importance of staying humble, not getting blinded by one’s ego and always staying on track in alignment with one’s goals.
And to be honest I still struggle with my ego, a lot. I believe this is a lifelong journey and that we can never fully “kill” our ego as it's deeply rooted within our psyche. A few thousand years ago a big ego was necessary for survival because a strong sense of self made it easier to be more assertive and competitive in securing resources like food, shelter, and mates. On top of that we used to live in tribes where we had a social hierarchy and people with bigger egos were more likely to be in leadership positions as they were again, assertive. And in the sense of reproduction people with big egos came across as more attractive as they usually had bigger status and could provide and protect their tribe better.
But our ego can also harm us when it comes to failure. Connor Mc Gregor thought he was the king, the best, the biggest fish in the sea and therefore he experienced even more pain as he lost to Khabib Nurmagomedov. The image he had of himself got crushed and he felt terrible about himself. He listened to all of the haters, negative feedback, and critics, and therefore his ego got crushed.
So ego can harm you in two ways.
When you're trying to improve yourself but you think you're the best and you know everything
When you experience failure your ego will get crushed and you'll feel even worse
So how do we fix or even better prevent ourselves from destroying ourselves with big egos? That's exactly what I'm going to tell you now.
So as you know by now having a big ego is destroying ourselves but what about confidence?
Confidence is the fix to all of this as confidence is based on real experiences, events, and evidence.
When you're confident you believe in your ability to achieve your goals you have what it takes to get there and you're willing to put in the work, basically staying a lifelong student. You're not blinded by your ego. You're just confident based on your past results, circumstances, and real-life examples.
When you’re confident you also see opportunities and growth everywhere. You’re willing to change and you’re willing to learn and progress instead of shutting off and telling yourself that you’re good enough and better than everyone else.
As I previously mentioned in other videos, comfort is the killer of any progress in life and our ego does exactly that. It gives us comfort, the feeling of being good enough and strong, wealthy, good looking when in reality we are not.
So shift your mindset from being egotistical to being confident. But Marlon how do I do that? Don’t worry I've got you.
As with everything in life, it starts within yourself. There are choices that you can take today that would increase your confidence and your belief in your abilities. People don't get born with confidence, they earn it. If you stay in the same spot where you feel good, just walking in circles you’re not going to build any confidence. So you have to learn how to step outside of your comfort zone, you have to prove it to yourself and the world, and you have to prove that you've got what it takes to be confident.
Pick one thing right now that you've been too afraid to take action on and do it. Don’t listen to your ego, don't listen to the excuses in your mind, and don't listen to your limiting beliefs. You want to improve your life, right? So take this step. Just think of something you have been putting off for a long time. Maybe it’s calling someone, having an uncomfortable conversation with someone, speaking to your crush, starting that business, or standing up against someone who picks on you. No matter what it is, it will feel painful, it will be hard but remember that real growth happens by experiencing pain.
If you shift your ego to confidence your life is going to improve in ways you could never imagine. You will start to work towards your goals again, you won’t be perceived as superior, other people will relate and therefore like you more and you will start to make much more progress towards your goals. Just imagine your dream life and what’s possible with the right mindset.
You don't want to stay where you are right now, not making much progress but acting and feeling superior. That’s not a nice spot. That's not a great life and that's why you have to stop walking in circles, staying in the same spot.
Since I'm trying to shift my mindset not to be egotistical but to be confident I've experienced a huge amount of growth as well. I started to see my flaws and blind spots which I've been ignorant of for too long. You can only improve what you recognize; therefore, trying to kill my ego was one of the most important steps on my self-improvement journey.
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Marlon Engelmann
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You are your biggest enemy
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