Things don’t always go the way you plan.

Things do not always occur the way they did when you planned it in your mind.

This is a fact of life.

And if you cannot accept this, you will rush around in resistance to the inevitable. You will end up reacting into every little thing that is wrong with your life.

This is a miserable existence, (I would only know because ^that^ was me today).

Instead, we can accept these mistakes, frustrations, and failures, remembering we are human.

We can choose to recalibrate into the present moment, feel the fresh gift of oxygen in our lungs, be still in the presence of God’s goodness, revisit our reverence for life.

Knowing that one day, we will die and pass on from this earth—like everyone before us—we can dive deep from this high point of clarity into the depths of this very second, the ocean ever unfolding, the now.

It here we engage with pure focus and clear intention, an undivided attention set apart for the only thing that exists, which is here and now—the unfolding.

We must learn to wrap our attention around the vital things in life, even when life goes off course and it feels pointless.

If we do not raise our eyes and lift our heads, how can we confidently walk the path before us? We cannot, in the distraction and drama of this broken world, make sense of life. We cannot find meaning in the shallow concerns of the masses, whose minds have been quietly programmed into modern slavery through the addictive, twisted, toxic substances, content, and lifestyles promoted by a broken system. We cannot find true healing in the poisonous medicine we’ve been fed–spiritually, physically, and mentally.

There is nothing but reaction and noise in the black hole. The black hole is the infinite trail of lies that lead to reactivity, hate, bitterness, self-pity, self-distraction, avoidance, blame, division, discouragement, and the deep pit of defeat.

In the noise, we become slaves to the world. This is where the enemy wants you. Quietly submitting your entire life over to those quiet thoughts and behaviors that eat away at your true identity and conform you to the world.

Turning one ear, one glance to the world’s noise is giving the enemy one foot in your vessel, one weed which will create 10 more, one cancer which will kill the whole.

If you do not kill the weeds, they will kill you.

If you do not destroy the enemy, the enemy will destroy you.

Ok, now that our existential standpoint has been established, let’s actually talk about how to handle things going off track (this was my morning today, so it’s very fresh for me).

THINGS NOT TO DO:

Fall into self pity about how unfair it is and how nothing ever works out for you. This is just feeding the enemy’s narrative into the back of your mind. You’re just letting the enemy tell you you’re worthless and hopeless based on the external events of your life.
Distract yourself. Please don’t go down the infinite hole on YouTube or TikTok. It won’t solve your problems, it will only make the pain even worse for you and future you.
Numb yourself. Basically the same as the ^previous, except stronger. We’re talking alcohol, porn and weed. All of these are release mechanisms, attempts to escape your mind. Only problem is you can’t escape your mind. You’re stuck with you. The problem is what’s being played in your head, not what’s happening around you. It’s how you’re responding to life, now how life is treating you. Life is relentless. Problems in the external world will always exist, but having a problem with the inevitable problems will quickly turn into avoidance of the problem (hence the numbing). The more you numb it, the less you can function, the less progress you make, the bigger your problems feel and the smaller your self-concept shrinks, until the point where you start questioning everything in life and getting to a very dark & depraved place mentally, physically, and spiritually. This is the rock bottom essentially, where people choose to either end it all, quit, or find more. You have more, you will find it. Don’t stop. God has already given you everything you need for the season you’re in. Trust in your Source.
Get all angry and start freaking out. Typically, especially as men, we turn any difficult emotion into a stubborn state of angry tension that we will not release until the matter has been fixed: until she apologizes, until they repay their debt to you, until you make up for the wrong, until you get everything done.

When things go wrong, instead of turning our attention to the thing and obsessing over what we can’t control (the people, places, times, things, outcomes outside of us), we have to obsess over the one thing we can direct: ourselves.

Life happens and unfolds, but the part we get to influence is how we choose to respond to it.

It’s easy to beat yourself up.
It’s easy to get angry.
It’s easy to lash out.
It’s easy to humiliate them.
It’s easy to give into the hate.
It’s easy to be bitter and complain.
It’s easy to continue on the same negative thought train you’ve been riding for hours, days, months,
It’s easy to scroll infinitely into a bottomless pit of depression and self-loathing for how less your life is compared to everyone else.
It’s easy to judge yourself when you’re first starting out.
It’s easy to personalize the problem.
It’s easy to hyperfixate on what’s wrong with life.
It’s easy to attach your identity to the events and outcomes of your life.
It’s easy to hold onto the past.
It’s harder to pivot.
It’s harder to abandon the ship of your previous mindset and try something new.
It’s harder to try again and again after countless failures, to try one more time even when your mind doesn’t even trust you after how many times you’ve backed out or fallen down.
It’s harder to get curious instead of clinging to the event,
It’s harder to think clearly,
It’s harder to think critically and objectively,
It’s harder to release tension,
It’s harder to release the energy,
It’s harder to forgive the mistake,
It’s harder to forgive yourself, to accept yourself,
It’s harder to allow a fresh wave, to be still,
It’s harder to not react into the noise but set an intention and follow it with fire while releasing attachment to outcome,
It’s harder to accept the risks and the consequences,
It’s harder to process loss,
It’s harder to love your enemies, to let God in, to open up, surrender your fears, and let the Divine Loving Source of this One Song heal your hurting, troubled, weary heart and lift you up into higher places,
It’s harder to accept God’s acceptance of you in Jesus, to receive the higher calling, higher energy, higher thoughts God is calling you into.

"Ok that's nice, but what should you actually do?"

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO:

We have to recalibrate and reprogram.

Remember you’re human. Every human struggles, faces uncertainty, failure, pain and loss. You are not the only. It is ok to fall off, just get back up because honestly we need you, more than you know.
Release your fists. This sounds kind of funny, but please try this: clench your fists around the problem/noise/discouragement in your head, nod your head, and then let it go—releasing your fists—saying out loud “Ok (nodding in the affirmative), I’m letting this go.” You’re telling your brain “ok, I acknowledge this problem. I see this thing. I’m not going to let this dictate how I respond and go throughout the rest of my day, how I think, and who I become.”
Reset: If you’re super worked up, go to a private place and meditate. If you have less time, just take 10 deep breaths and bounce in place gently to loosen your body. I personally practice breathwork every day for 30 minutes. Whenever I meditate, I’m always softening the palms of my hands, soles of my feet, all four corners of my eyes, in and around my ears and my jaw, my throat, and my pelvic floor. This allows me to unwind my nervous system and go deeper into stillness. Other tools include long walks (without the phone, or with podcast/empowering audio), yoga/stretching, running, NSDR (Non-Sleep Deep Rest, aka Yoga Nidra).
Pray: “God, I don’t fully understand what’s going on and why this is happening, but I trust you in this process and know that you will provide everything I need. I know I am enough in you. I know I can move forward in confidence because you will make a way, and by faith I will find it. I’m not stopping here.”
Talk to Your Self: Speak with your Highest Self. Talk to 80 year old you, or 30 year old you. Be honest and transparent on both sides. Be the psycho that actually gets over the problem and moves forward instead of the victim who just blames the problem and becomes a slave to the noise.
Get around your Righteous Grind squad. The top 5 people in your life who are locked in, focused, seeking to grow, seeking challenge, pushing themselves to greater heights and depths in life. Share your struggle. Every human struggles, but we forget this when we struggle. We think we’re the only one, when that’s in fact a lie. Don’t buy this. Speak up. Don’t shut down.
If it’s serious to the point where you feel crippling fear and inability to move forward, get a therapist or expert coach who can help you move through the process. Everyone needs support. Find yours.
Revisit your reverence for life. It’s hard to be micro-obsessed with a problem when you’re zoomed out and looking at the vast miraculous improbability of life. Somehow, you were made it into this world, and the chances of that happening were incredibly slim. Only about 1 in 250 million sperm cells actually make it to the egg, and even then, only one can fertilize it. God knew you before the foundations of this planet. You were a painting in God’s mind. And now you’re here with this one life on earth. You will die someday. We don’t know when. But you know your time is limited and running out. Don’t hesitate to just be in awe and wonder of life. Your problems aren’t bigger than your source. Relax a little bit (yes, even if you’re in debt or up against a big deadline).
Reengage with your intention. How would you respond to this if it wasn’t an existential crisis? How would you respond from your Highest Self? Who do you want to be now? How do you want to impact others now? How do you want to expand now? The failure is past you, the mess is behind you—you can psychoanalyze it to death—but what are you going to do about it now? Write down your #1 priority, and just make that happen. Even if it’s just a workout, or getting your nutrition back on track, or getting to bed early. It doesn’t matter what it is, you just need to take the next step on the righteous path. Don’t worry about step 75, you’re not there yet. God will have already provided for that when you get there. You just need to focus on doing your best, today, and then letting it go.

Life is too short to spend hours, days, months, and years beating yourself up for the inevitable mistakes and shortcoming every human has.

Measure what actually matters, not just what’s missing.

Go do the thing.

Righteous Grind

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