Sep 30 (edited) in 馃グFamily Caregivers馃グ
Caregivers: We'll Cross That Bridge When We Get There
Talking with your parents about their future care needs may feel unnecessary. You might even think, "My parents are fine." Yep, they are fine until they are not. And then what?
In my years working with families, I've seen the consequences of waiting too long to have difficult conversations. Often, when families realize they need help, it's too late to plan calmly and effectively. They're left scrambling under pressure, and in many cases, the person in need may resist the very help they could benefit from.
This brings me to a story about Lana and Joan, two sisters who lived together for years. When Joan was hospitalized, Lana's son reached out to me. He thought it would be good for them to learn about in-home care.
When we met, Lana and Joan were kind and welcoming. But I could sense Lana was preparing to say, "Kelli, we're fine." I smiled and replied, "Of course you are, and I
truly appreciate you taking the time to meet with me. It's always nice to have options in place鈥攋ust in case."
But what happens when someone resists help?
That's precisely what happened with Lana. As Joan's health started declining, Lana insisted they could manage independently. It's a common response, but it's not the end of the conversation.
Here are a few strategies to consider when a loved one refuses help:
-Plant the seed.
Even if they say no initially, introducing the idea early allows them time to process. This way, when the conversation comes up again, it's not entirely foreign.
-Focus on independence.
Frame the conversation around how help can preserve their independence longer. It's not about losing control; it's about maintaining their quality of life.
-Get a professional involved.
An outside perspective can make all the difference. Whether it's a doctor, care manager, or trusted advisor, hearing it from someone else can remove the emotional weight of family dynamics.
Offer a trial period.
-Propose temporarily bringing in help. Whether for a few hours a week or just for specific tasks, this trial can ease them into accepting support without making them feel overwhelmed.
Ultimately, caregiving conversations aren't about forcing help鈥攖hey're about creating a safety net before it's urgently needed. If you wait until the moment of crisis, options may be limited, and emotions will be high.
Let me know if I can support you with these conversations. If you have experienced this with a loved one, please share your best tips for overcoming objections to care!
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Caregivers: We'll Cross That Bridge When We Get There
