I had an orgasm in October of 2022 (letter 3)

Louis Crowe

Jun '23 in Letters

In October 2022, I got excited.

It was wonderful.

A euphoric confidence in my ability to take over the world had completely enveloped me.

"Louis, you're the fucking man" repeated the handsome little commentator in my head, over and over.

"Yeah. I fucking am" I would reply without a shadow of a doubt in my mind.

My family came to visit me in Spain to celebrate my 21st birthday.

I hosted them in my apartment.

MY parents, sleeping comfortably in MY apartment, meeting MY friends and exploring MY city...

They finally saw, with their own eyes that my life wasn't a complete shit show.

I was no longer the lost little kid who gallivanted around Mexico for a few months then came back with very long hair and an unwillingness to get the covid vaccine.

I had become a man, fully capable of making my own decisions and making my own money.

During their 4-day long visit, I signed three new clients for my agency.

I pulled in €9,032.60 in revenue that month.

€6,859 in profit.

Not bad for a man living on less than €1,100 a month.

Here's the problem...

October 2022 was the best month of business I've ever had.

Not only did I satisfy my immense cravings for my parents validation, but I also pulled in a rake of cash.

To say that all this "success" got to my head would be a magnificent understatement.

See, my motivation for running my business was heavily dependent on two things:

A desperate craving for my parents' validation
A fear of failure, resulting in me having to move back in with my parents

At the end of October, both of those boxes were ticked.

So what happened to my motivation?

Poof.

It pulled the most impressive disappearing act of all time.

From March until October, I was waking up at 6am every day to meditate, running 45k a week, lifting weights, reading books, signing clients, keeping them happy, eating like a panda bear and abstaining from poisoning my body with alcohol and cigarettes.

All that disciplined work led to me having a great month in October, I got what I deserved.

But once my unconscious needs for validation and security were satisfied, all my discipline flew out the window.

I started lying in, avoiding work, going to parties, smoking cigarettes, sleeping with strangers, spending money and just generally getting up to all sorts of other stupid shit that would undoubtably lead to the imminent downfall of a business (or a rockstar).

So, I got what I deserved.

In November, I made €4,337.94.

In December, it was €2,142.07.

Come January, I felt like a deflated balloon.

But that experience taught me something very important:

Goal-induced excitement is much like the powerful tragedy that we call the male orgasm.

We're willing to go to hell and back to make it happen.

We lift weights, groom ourselves, try to chat up women, clean our rooms, spend copious amounts of money...

A lot of men literally go and start an entire fucking business, purely so that they can have more orgasms.

We'll pump up the balloon as much as we possibly can before it pops.

And then...

What?

A fleeting moment of bliss, followed by an overwhelming, long lasting feeling of diminishment (and sometimes disgust).

Most people think that in order to achieve a good life, one must continuously set goals and achieve them. This is how we grow, right?

In that case, most people live their lives in a constant state of pressure increase and pressure release.

The motivation to achieve our goals comes from our unconscious desires, fears, traumas and hungers. The more pain we're in, the more we want to achieve the goal and ultimately, the more internal pressure we build up.

Once we achieve these goals and our subconscious drives are fulfilled, the pressure is released.

We climax.

And then we deflate...

But why?

Why does this happen?

Why are you left feeling like a soggy towel, used like a whore and discarded onto the bathroom floor whenever you achieve something noteworthy?

Luckily for you, I have an answer.

There is even scientific credence to my Soggy Towel Theory.

Dopamine is the feel-good neurochemical, released in our brains that drives us to take action. It's the compound responsible for addiction, motivation and ultimately, the achievement of goals.

Scientists used to believe that dopamine was released whenever we achieved a goal and that our motivation to achieve said goal came from a craving for dopamine.

They have since discovered that our brain releases more dopamine during the build-up towards the goal than it does from the achievement of the goal itself.

To give you a (rather depressing) example, a smokers dopamine levels would be at their peak when they have a cigarette in their mouth, right before they light it.

Talking about our goals, thinking about our goals, taking actions in line with our goals, all result in increasing releases of dopamine, therefore an increase in motivation, and an increase in this internal pressure.

However, once the goal is achieved, the brain no longer needs to drip-feed us dopamine.

"The job is done, now it's time to relax" says the brain.

That's where the serotonin kicks in.

Another feel-good neurochemical, that is responsible for making you happy and giving you that lethargic feeling of satisfaction.

It's the chemical that makes you sprawl out on the couch and feel content eating cookie dough while watching mind-poisoning Netflix docu-series about serial killers and presidential elections.

It's the chemical that puts men to sleep after an orgasm.

Throughout evolution, this made sense.

Back when we used to live in caves, our goals involved hunting for days, building shelter by hand, traversing intense terrain and growing the tribe via copious amounts of reproduction.

We needed these pressure/release mechanisms to avoid physical and mental burnout.

These days however, this pressure increase/release cycle is responsible for your lack of progress in life.

I know for a fact that you're not out in the tundra hunting, building a house by hand, trekking across mountains barefoot OR sleeping with multiple women a day for "the good of the people".

But you probably do have goals, and thanks to evolution and the brilliance of the human mind, the achievement of your goals is still determined by this pressure/release cycle.

Those who achieve incredible things in their lives, have learned to continuously push the goalposts back.

Every time they're getting close to that climax, they slow down, take it easy, maybe pull out for a minute and breathe.

They'll do anything to delay the gratification because they know that once they finish, once they achieve their goal, they'll lose the motivation to keep going.

Successful people set goals, get very close to achieving them, then set new ones to keep themselves in this state of increasing pressure, this state of motivation and action.

Sure, it's healthy to release the pressure every now and then, but only if you've achieved something that's truly worth celebrating.

Earning 9k in a month and getting a high-five from your mother is not something worth releasing the pressure for.

It took almost 2 months for me to get back on track with my business after I had that marvelous orgasm in October.

As they say, the highest highs always lead to the lowest lows.

So, how do you train yourself to push back these goalposts, delay the gratification and keep yourself in a state of immense psychological pressure so that you can be blessed with the infinite motivation required achieve your wildest dreams?

Unfortunately, the answer is a bit too long to fit into this letter.

Fortunately, today I have released an entire course for you, for free, so that you can learn everything there is to know about semen retent.... I mean, goal achievement.

Check it out in the classroom, I put a shit load work into it, it's really fucking good and I've got no doubt that you're going to love it.

Finishing this course was a big goal for me. I was actually thinking of taking a few days off once it's done to "regenerate my brain" but I decided no...

I'm not ready to cum.

So instead of taking a few days off, I'm diving straight into my next project (Which you're also going to fucking love).

That was the inspiration for today's letter.

I hope you have a great day,

Louis

PS If you want to hop on a call and have a chat with me, I'd love that! Just pick a time here. See you then!

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