I had an orgasm in October of 2022 (letter 3)
In October 2022, I got excited. It was wonderful. A euphoric confidence in my ability to take over the world had completely enveloped me. "Louis, you're the fucking man" repeated the handsome little commentator in my head, over and over. "Yeah. I fucking am" I would reply without a shadow of a doubt in my mind. My family came to visit me in Spain to celebrate my 21st birthday. I hosted them in my apartment. MY parents, sleeping comfortably in MY apartment, meeting MY friends and exploring MY city... They finally saw, with their own eyes that my life wasn't a complete shit show. I was no longer the lost little kid who gallivanted around Mexico for a few months then came back with very long hair and an unwillingness to get the covid vaccine. I had become a man, fully capable of making my own decisions and making my own money. During their 4-day long visit, I signed three new clients for my agency. I pulled in €9,032.60 in revenue that month. €6,859 in profit. Not bad for a man living on less than €1,100 a month. Here's the problem... October 2022 was the best month of business I've ever had. Not only did I satisfy my immense cravings for my parents validation, but I also pulled in a rake of cash. To say that all this "success" got to my head would be a magnificent understatement. See, my motivation for running my business was heavily dependent on two things: 1. A desperate craving for my parents' validation 2. A fear of failure, resulting in me having to move back in with my parents At the end of October, both of those boxes were ticked. So what happened to my motivation? Poof. It pulled the most impressive disappearing act of all time. From March until October, I was waking up at 6am every day to meditate, running 45k a week, lifting weights, reading books, signing clients, keeping them happy, eating like a panda bear and abstaining from poisoning my body with alcohol and cigarettes. All that disciplined work led to me having a great month in October, I got what I deserved.