I was my mothers worst nightmare (letter 1)

Louis Crowe

Jun '23 in Letters

The ages between 13-16 were a tough time in my life.

I was hanging out with a bad crowd…

I smoked enough weed to put Snoop Dogg to shame, I drank like a fish and saw the entire rainbow of criminal activity.

I’d constantly fight with my parents... To me, they were crazy for not letting me “live my life”.

Thankfully, they fought back hard, and (metaphorically) slapped some sense into me.

When I was 16, they sent me to a therapist that was part of an Irish organization that gave free therapy to kids with drug addictions.

I was a stoner and these guys were used to dealing with fifteen year old's who were on heroin…

Not to brag, but I must have been a breath of fresh air for them.

Each week I peed in a cup and talked to my therapist Shane about my feelings.

Unsurprisingly, at the time, my feelings were overwhelmingly negative.

I didn’t see any purpose to life, I didn’t see much reason to do anything.

My philosophy was “fuck it, nothing matters”.

A couple of weeks into my escapades with Shane, he started to ask me about my future, what I wanted out my life.

I had no clue what I wanted… I don’t even remember how I responded. But I do remember what he said to me next.

“Louis, is it crazy to think that if you found something to care about, you’d be able to enjoy your life a little bit more?”

Boom…

That sentence hit me like a fucking train.

I don’t know if it was the sobriety, the plastic chair I was sat on or if God had just fondled me.

But I had a serious moment of realization.

Then and there, in that office, rowing became the most important thing in the world to me.

Overnight, I pulled myself from that dark abyss and cut off all of my “friends”.

I stopped smoking, I quit the drink and I started eating more protein.

Within 2 years I was training for the Irish team and racing overseas.

You could say I got my shit together.

What changed?

How did I go from being a complete degenerate to an international athletic rockstar? (maybe an over exaggeration)

All I did was set a goal.

Most people are trying to navigate the chaos of life without a destination.

It’s like setting sail out into the sea, without a map… Or a compass… Or any idea where of you want to go.

You could end up anywhere and the chances are, you’re not going to end up somewhere pleasant.

Why?

Because you’re left at the mercy of your environment.

The sea (life) will push you around, chew you up and spit you out onto some unknown shore, very far away from where you wanted to end up.

Then you'll wonder “how the hell did I end up here?”.

You begin to blame the universe for your shit life.

“I’m just an unlucky person”.

If you want to be able to safely navigate the choppy waters of life and end up in a place that isn’t going to make you miserable, you need to set sail with a clear destination and a solid plan of action.

Life, like the sea, can be incredibly chaotic, the only way to bring order to this chaos is by knowing where it is you want to go.

Think of your destination as a mental filter through which you put every decision.

Hmm… Would drinking this beer bring me closer or further away from where I want to be?

What about sleeping with this person?

What about going to the gym today?

Without a destination in mind, these decisions are made willy-nilly.

Your life is the direct result of every decision you’ve ever made.

If you want to be in control the life you live, you must make every decision with your desired situation in mind.

If you don’t, you’re fucked.

The first step to living your dream life, is finding out what your dream life is.

Ask yourself this:

Who do you want to be?

Personality?
Traits?
Characteristics?
Image?
Body?

What do you want to do with your life?

Career?
Hobbies?
Passions?
Pursuits?
Habits?

When do you want to become this person?

6 months?
2 years?
30 years?

Where will you be if you don’t change?

Broke?
Fat?
Lazy?
Unhappy?
Scared?

Why do you want to become this person?

Motivations?
Drives?
Desires?
Fears?
Traumas?

How will you become this person?

Plans?
Action?
Work?

By getting crystal clear on the person you want to be and the future you want to have, you’re setting a destination.

A proper destination is the only way to bring true order to the chaos of life.

Without a destination, it’s game over.

Good luck,

Louis

PS If you want a more in-depth, step-by-step approach to setting goals and finding out what it is you want out of life (and if that involves university), I have just released a course to help you do exactly that. You can check it out here.

If you want to have a free 1 on 1 chat with me to discuss this (or anything else for that matter) you can book a call with me here.

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