Safety Security Self-love is in danger

one of the worst experience In life is to be surrounded by colleagues where they keep on clapping for your victory but you feel like shit inside and still smiling to the outside world

Even more ridiculous BS 🤬 is

when you're lead is ready to migrate to another company for his own good but freaking recommending you to stay in the company even after I rejected the offer for 2 times saying

I feel like shit inside, I can not go longer

I said I need rest for minimum 6 months

they counter with the same shit

universal diagloue of Boomers

I am saying for your own good, don't quit

the moment I joined the job I knew

I am too good for this freaking company and envisioned one day I will be leaving the company to purse something beyond

In my experience of working hard till burnout in AWS cloud real time project for my company , I realized now biggest assest is NOT DATA OR INFORMATION but creating a place and path where DATA AND INFORMATION FLOWS NATURALLY

as Human are lazy oops path of least resistance creatures, they go with the flow.

.................

my job is to critique and automate the current infrastructure laid out plan

one day I critiqued major security issue, what he said still rings in my mind

It shouldn't be the thing we should be leaving alone but what else we do if our allocated budget isn't meant to cover the security aspects but only functional aspects

my lead always used to say

as long as no issues arises in frontend and backend

NO ONE CARES

when it feels like flowing in the platform from frontend to backend that means infrastructure is in soo good condition

NO ONE CARES WHAT HAPPENS

I realized

Safety Security Self-love is in danger when one precieve the GOLD from one side of reality

..............

let me leave you with my path of love for my pastame (past me) world

If I were to end up in the same situation before joining my company

will I choose the same things?

FREAKING YES

the moment I reflected on this game changed for me

because the very game presented me two options to play

1. Easy mode

2. Hard mode

Easiest way I had is to join mid level or second tier company through my father backup who is proficient as IT Consultant with a flourishing network of experts

A single word from me would've given me a unfair advantage but I felt it doesn't meant for me

so I choose 3rd weird mode (unevolved version) to play the game

let me see where it goes and how it unfolds

I had lot of struggles in expressing myself when I tried to get placed in job interview

even enough to say such answer

why are you here for?

For money and it's nearby location from my home

note I really meant that, it is said not to mock others because the world told pastame get a good nearby job and good salary

I bet you know what happened next

I have learned frontend, backend and data structure, art of forgetting and how to prepare for chess tournament in my CSE undergrad but never once while spending my time there, they said freaking answer for this

because pastame ( past me ) been living in the world of seeking answer for others questions

pastame have yet to move to the current world of seeking my own questions

............

Now comes the question

I realized

Hate is one side of reality

Love is one side of reality

but hate and love lies in same reality together

you are free to choose the one you like to live with

after leaving the job, few months later pastame start to incline towards hard mode and started to jump between 2 mode

hard mode and weird mode because pastame is started to play the game with lens of hate

Now let's critique pastame oops my path of love