I have this feeling and it resonates a little

Just got so motivated to do so much more inner game and self-hypnosis. Looking for the meaning of things.

I do understand and listing to feelings but logic/reason does get it the way sometimes and makes me doubt how I feel.

In terms of how I feel and what resonates with me right now is 'Why I haven't been taking the leaps forward towards a better life/future I know I deserve?"

I was thinking about this question today reflecting on the pass and I felt that I did wrong about many things and many mistakes in my life. A lot of guilt in my past. I should be a better friend, brother, son etc. I know I can't do life perfect but I feel guilty about it. There are times where I should of been there in sickness and health, but I wasn't. I do feel sad and guilty about this.

Even now it's like I could do so much but at this time I am not at the financial position to do so. I feel guilty about this too. A great friend of mine, her father just past away and I want nothing more when to go and she her and support her. That triggered the feeling of "Not at the financial position to do so" and "I should be a better friend, brother, son etc"

To tie all this together is that can't move/shouldn't and feel guilty to move forward because I feel I need to 'fix' the past, to 'amend' maybe. I don't the right words to express this, but to make it right, whatever that means. I don't feel comfortable to move forward if I don't make this right.

Another thing, Why is it that I sometimes hesitate to take action and when I take do, I don't give it my absolute effort?

There are so many things to uncover but here are a few things.

Just by writing this the feelings came up and went down again that this mean something too?

Be well everyone

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