(Possibly) helpful rant.

Wanted to let out what I’m feeling, in the hope some could relate and speak out if they felt no one was in the same boat.

Right now it’s raining in the UK, and I’m sitting in my room before I go to bed. I’ve been feeling shit about a few things, made worse by the bad weather at the moment. My 19th birthday is in a month or so, so no real birthday for me because of Christmas and the closeness to it. I’m not annoyed at that as much as I am with my current lack of intrests or excitement towards it. As Joe Rogan said, “what man gives a shit about his birthday” although I still feel I do. Sidenote, don’t give a shit about what gifts I get which is hard to get my head around as I always did before.

Being on a gap year with a not what I had expected. Everyone I knew had left and there are no real young people that are not in the Uni space in the UK from 18-21 it feels like. Me and my mate Tom are the only people I know who are still in the area (Reading). Going out a few Saturdays ago, I was talking to some pretty attractive women, who turned out to be 45 and 49 respectively. They kept us interested I felt, until their husbands sat down and that fucked the rest of the night for me.

In terms of what I am doing, I applying for work on Indeed, but there are less and less jobs with loads of people older than me also looking for work. Don’t really know what to do but to ‘fall back’ onto going to uni, although as I have felt for what feels like forever, I have never been dying to go, and £30,000 + for an ‘experience’ seems a little stupid if I’m not dying to be there and will therefore make an effort socially to hitch would be the best benefit for me personally.

Just wanted to offload somewhere I felt I wouldn’t be judged, or talked to by people that have an interest (parents) in my future as it may determine their situation in 20 yr time or so.

Cheers, Alec.

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