Why's it so easy to be wrong

Yesterday, this time, I was happy, thinking about everything I was gonna do for the day, it was a weekend after so long and I was really excited.

And I wasn't wrong, I came from coaching, I saw him awake at like 2 am his time and we just started talking. "Just 5 more minutes" I said to him for the 100th time. We just kept talking for hours, I didn't even have breakfast, lunch or evening snacks but that was the least of my concern, I was just so happy to spend so much time togather.

Fast forward to now, I woke up late with swollen eyes from crying all night and he won't even talk to me. He won't listen to me, he's just really not okay and I know it's my fault and the worst part is, I don't even know what to do. I just wish we could talk like we always do just 1 more time so I could tell him how much more it hurts me to see him that way than everything else in the past, I just wish he could come and say "Hey" with no context in the middle of me texting at midnight and then we could forget about sleep and everything we have the next day and just start talking again.

I wish he could see what I would give to get him to be happy again, I wish he was here, beside me, just talking. I wish he'd eat M&Ms and save the red and browns for me. I don't know what to do if we part ways like this and it's my fault, I don't think I can ever forgive myself if that happens. Oh god, I just wanna cry to him and hope he'd magically solve all my problems.

2 comments