A talented “pickup artist” thinks he is “gaming” women. That is, taking a woman who was not interested in sleeping with him, and doing some sort of Jedi mind trick to get her to WANT to sleep with him that night. Argue all you want – I’ve seen HUNDREDS of PUAs operate on my HUNDREDS of female friends, and I firmly believe that this is NOT THE CASE. Pickup works because it gets you talking to more women. Period. Lots of PUAs go down that road because they never developed their social skills (for whatever reason). Many of them STILL haven’t. The routines are designed to create a short-term positive reaction, which is good for morale. It gives them momentum for the next approach, and the next. They may get laid a lot … but it’s not because they have cracked the code to some “magic routine.” Whenever a PUA comes up to one of my amazing female friends to try to spit some “game,” 100% of the time she comes running to me saying “OMG Michael, you won’t believe what this CREEPY GUY just said …” So WHY do PUAs pull lays? Because they talk to SO MANY WOMEN over the course of a night that eventually they’re in the “right place, right time.” They meet the ONE girl who is DTF and takes an immediate liking to him … or it’s the end of the night, she’s craving dick, and he’s the best, most convenient, or least-threatening option. What do we learn from this? YOUR WEIRD PUA MOVES AREN’T WHAT GETS YOU LAID. That girl was ALREADY going to fuck you, WHETEVER you said. No hate. More power to you. But what your creepy PUA moves DID do was turn off a dozen OTHER women you approached. Women who may not have fucked you that night … but who might have become your FRIEND. A friend who could have introduced you to her high-status male friends. Or gotten you into VIP. Or introduced you to her single girlfriends. Congrats, PUA Master. You got laid. But at what cost? Comment below if you have a story like this.

Hitting girls up, I have noticed, to them, their identity as a woman is based around a lot of attracting men and getting men to approach them, i.e. to go first, just look at how they dress when they’re out, they want to be approached, and furthermore, if I approach them and they’re into it and I do all my escalations that I am supposed to do, she’ll want to make me feel good for making her feel good; making her feel good comes from, like I said at the beginning, getting the guy to go first because she attracted him. I used to, and still do sometimes, have a problem with going first because the girl “hasn’t earned it yet” but that is butthurt pussy shit. I have come into a new understanding, so long as I am not a creep about it, I am giving her a gift by approaching her and escalating on her properly, even if she says no, she’ll still appreciate it and feel good about it afterward. I remember that when I realized this was this one time that I instadated a girl and we hung out for like five hours and afterward I texted her that it was great meeting her, she texted me back: “thanks for talking to me on the street.” I remember right before I approached her thinking she didn’t want to be approached but fuck it, I was about to approach her anyway and making the whole approach about me, but ever since she texted me that I became aware that the approach really isn’t about me, it’s about her and making her feel good, making her feel like a woman that attracts men. This really shifted my mindset so much, my approaches have never been the same since. It’s like when I give someone a gift that I believe/know they’re about to like, my energy is all open, happy, certain, confident, and I cannot wait to to give it to her.

I see many guys walking around with what I call “crisis face.” They look worried, stressed out, almost on the verge of tears. Record your next few on-camera Zoom meetings. Look closely, and be honest with yourself. Do you have “crisis face?” Studies have shown that impoverished or low-status people actually develop higher cortisol thresholds and lower dopamine thresholds … meaning they get MORE STRESSED when they’re under pressure and LESS HAPPY when they’re in a state of joy. In other words, your “crisis face” could be giving “broke.” People can READ your low status in that permanent grimace you wear. Don’t be alarmed. THIS IS FIXABLE. Challenge for the week … Can you catch yourself in moments where you’re not smiling and remind yourself to smile? Smiling – even a fake smile – changes your brain chemistry. It’s also proven to make people like you more. Do you think you can implement this in your life this week?

The girl should be excited by talking with me (she shall be if she is interested). There is no need for fancy routines or anything elaborate, the perfect pickup is a myth, basic getting to know each other stuff works perfectly fine. The valuable thing is me and getting to know me, not me being a master talker. I like to think of it this way, if a homeless person came up and asked me “hey, where’d you get that shirt?” as opposed to Elon Musk, my level of enthusiasm in the conversation would be different. I noticed this one time in college, I talked to a girl and she gave me a short answer then went silent and stopped looking at me, so I went and sat a couple of tables over and then her friend showed up and asked her the same exact thing: “how are you doing?” and her response was completely different (she got all animated, stopped what she was doing, and started laughing even though what she said was not funny). When I am out, me just talking to the girl should open her up and if it doesn’t, I move on. In the beginning of my journey, I put a lot of pressure on myself to make it happen, as a measure of my manhood in a way, it hurt a lot when I would fail and my mind would be racing all the time trying to think of what to say, but eventually after having positive experiences, I started to notice that if the girl is interested, she contributes because SHE IS INTERESTED TOO; it is a two-sides pickup process. There is still something to be said about signaling, the way she shows interest and escalates, her role in that as opposed to mine is different, but my main point in this post is: there is no need to try so hard, it is incongruent and makes it difficult for the girl to participate if I am dropping multi-stack routines on her when all she cares about is us getting to know and initiating physical communication with each other. If she is not showing interest in basic getting to know each other conversation, not looking at me, and other basic fucking emotional and physical shit that people do when they’re excited by a conversation, like the convo between those two girls I mentioned, I move on. She doesn’t have to be doing backflips, but I am sure you guys get what I am saying, I pay attention to how her body is reacting to me and how it manifests in her level of interest in getting to know me and make my read on her from there.

So, a big problem I had at first is believing women are attracted to me; I used to get baffled by the question: but why would she want me? It caused me to act unbelievably incongruent by trying not only way harder than I needed to, but trying period. All that noise in my head that I had so much of in the beginning slowly dissipated the more I realized that girls want me (want guys) too. It is not the logical part of it I had to work on to internalize, I really had to experience it before I could feel it, it hurt a lot in the beginning because most girls can be so conflicted -they might want me, but act incongruent themselves because they act passive as a default, EVEN THOUGH THEY WANT IT (it’s backwards, I know)-. Game really is just signaling girls, knowing to read their bodies, and holding space, that’s it. They take care of the rest (and get so horny once they’re having fun (feeling good), it’s fucking awesome!