So I spend a lot of time at work, and when I get home I spend a lot of time reading. I can commit to certain things, but I find it really hard to get the motivation to complete basic tasks like mopping the floor and cooking for myself. If someone is coming over, that gives me motivation to clean my apartment really well because I find the pressure of their potential criticism very invigorating - but I want to find the motivation to do things just for myself. I want to have a clean house and a prepared life for me, and not just when I feel people might notice. I also have had intense chronic pain issues, and have stayed in some relationships that I really didn't want to be in because I listened to a vague sense of obligation over my body. Have really managed to improve my guilt and shame the past few months, but motivation has yet to follow.

@Dillon Schiley welcome!