I used to hate conflict...
In fact, there's nothing that would make me MORE nervous as a leader, than when my team would argue, yell at one another, and almost come close to fighting each other...
Yeah, like physically fighting lol.And no, our arguments and debates as a team never ever went THAT far... thankfully!
BUT... I've learned that they should come at least VERY VERY close.Sounds weird right?I thought so too... until I read the book:
"The Five Dysfunctions Of A Team" by Patrick Lencioni
In this book, they describe how Team Meetings SHOULD have CONFLICT.
Here's an example from the book as to why:
-
“How many of you would rather go to a meeting than a movie?” No hands went up.
“Why not?” After a pause, Jeff realized that her question was not a rhetorical one.
“Because movies are more interesting. Even the bad ones.” His peers chuckled.Kathryn smiled.
“Right. But if you really think about it, meetings should be at least as interesting as movies.”
-
And after reading that, one of the most memorable scenes from the best TV Show in the world, Mad Men, came to my mind immediately...
It's the scene where Pete Campbell and Layne Price start fighting each other in the office.
You see, Pete is kind of a weasel... he'll manipulate you, lie to you, and twist the truth to get his way... but he's damn good at his job.
And Layne is the opposite, he's usually pretty reserved, kind, and soft spoken... but this time, Pete stepped over the line.
He insulted Layne right in front of the other board members, and expected him to just take it.But that's not what happened...
Instead, what happened was, Layne got up, took his suit jacket off, and told him to put his dukes up, because they were going to fight.
And fight is exactly what they did...
They punched, jabbed, and hit each other... until ultimately, Pete was the one lying flat on the floor...
Now, what does this all have to do with YOU and why should you care lol..?
Well, it doesn't mean that your team meetings should be an all out war...
But it does mean that your meetings NEED to have conflict.Remember, your meetings need to be as interesting as movies!
And to be as interesting as movies, your meetings need to envoke some emotion!
Which means that you and your team shouldn't hold back, especially when it comes to issues that are important to the entire company.
It's okay for your teammates to disagree, but they each at least need to have the chance to WEIGH IN, before you can ever expect them to BUY IN.
So the next time you have a team meeting, and conflict arises...
Whether it's someone else disagreeing with you, you disagreeing with someone else, or someone else disagreeing with another person...
OR even just someone being flat out rude to another co-worker and insulting them, like Pete insulted Layne in Mad Men...
Let them go at it.
Let them go at you.
Let them get it out on the table.
Because the only way we'll ever be able to build a rock-solid TEAM that wins, is to first make sure we're okay with a little bit of healthy conflict.
At least that's what I've learned...
But I'm curious to hear your thoughts...
Reply and let me know what you think!
-Brian 'fisticuffs' Moncada 🥂