Can I Get Your Attention? (Blog Post)

When was the last time you were without your phone for 24 hours? Since the old Nokia phones were around? How long has it been since your phone is an afterthought?

I’ve worked through my phone now for about 6 years. Before Swell Coaching (my current business), I did online personal training on the side for a few years. The time spend accumulating screen time has, undoubtably, rewired my brain. The dopamine addiction I have is most likely severe, and yours probably is, too.

I’m sure you’ve noticed, but people don’t have a screen pasted to their face (I mean some do, but that’s the point of this post), but they can increase your dopamine - it’s just harder to get.

And before I go on, I’m not saying we should use people as dopamine hit devices. I’m implying that we can get the same pleasure (but better) by actually conversing with real people, than watching some coach on Instagram teach us how to better our golf swing (or love and lead better…cough cough).

We were made for relationship.

I’m about to throw out the overarching theme for this post…are you ready?

Attention is Love.

There it is.

Let me ask you this:

Is your phone almost always visible when you are hanging out with your wife?

What about time spent with your kids.

The notion that there is a whole world going on inside this device, sitting on the arm of the chair next to us, is massively distracting whether you realize it or not.

And the person you are with, knows that, and feels it to.

Here’s a piece of relationship advice that can really change your life:

Whenever you are with someone, put your phone out of sight.

And I’m talking to Dads, Husbands, Leaders of Companies, Pastors, etc.

Everyone.

If you are a manager, or leader of a company, and one of your employees come in, put your phone in your desk.

They want your full attention, and honestly, they deserve it.

But the focus here is that your wife and kids deserve your attention the most.

Afterall, you are the leader of your family.

And this can get hard, as we know.

If you’re a follower of Christ, a way to see this role is like middle management (super fun, right?).

You are the intermediary between God and your family.

And yes, they should have a personal relationship with God, as well, but as the spiritual leader you are responsible for their spiritual formation to an extent.

All of that to say, if you are constantly giving them half-hearted and half-focused (which is really none because it’s not possible) attention all of the time, then you are going to be getting a subpar result as a consequence of that.

So put your phone your phone away when you get home from work, or if you work from home, set designated hours that your phone is in a special drawer, or box to ensure you are doing everything you can to give your full attention to your family.

How you can you truly lay your life down for those you love, if you won’t even lay your phone down, dude?

Be the Dude,

Ryan

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