When was the last time you were without your phone for 24 hours? Since the old Nokia phones were around? How long has it been since your phone is an afterthought? I’ve worked through my phone now for about 6 years. Before Swell Coaching (my current business), I did online personal training on the side for a few years. The time spend accumulating screen time has, undoubtably, rewired my brain. The dopamine addiction I have is most likely severe, and yours probably is, too. I’m sure you’ve noticed, but people don’t have a screen pasted to their face (I mean some do, but that’s the point of this post), but they can increase your dopamine - it’s just harder to get. And before I go on, I’m not saying we should use people as dopamine hit devices. I’m implying that we can get the same pleasure (but better) by actually conversing with real people, than watching some coach on Instagram teach us how to better our golf swing (or love and lead better…cough cough). We were made for relationship. I’m about to throw out the overarching theme for this post…are you ready? Attention is Love. There it is. Let me ask you this: Is your phone almost always visible when you are hanging out with your wife? What about time spent with your kids. The notion that there is a whole world going on inside this device, sitting on the arm of the chair next to us, is massively distracting whether you realize it or not. And the person you are with, knows that, and feels it to. Here’s a piece of relationship advice that can really change your life: Whenever you are with someone, put your phone out of sight. And I’m talking to Dads, Husbands, Leaders of Companies, Pastors, etc. Everyone. If you are a manager, or leader of a company, and one of your employees come in, put your phone in your desk. They want your full attention, and honestly, they deserve it. But the focus here is that your wife and kids deserve your attention the most. Afterall, you are the leader of your family. And this can get hard, as we know.

Why is one change you’ve experienced in fatherhood and/or middle age that you didn’t expect? I’ll go first with something ridiculous: The Dad Sneeze. It’s loud, violent, and unexpected. Sometimes I shake my home’s foundations. How about you?

Every month or so I will get into, what I call, a “funk”. It’s that generic feeling of “meh”. What’s frustrating to me is that, as a highly self-aware person, I can’t always pinpoint what it is that gets me down. This funk is not really an issue in an existential crisis sort of way, but it does hinder productivity and has an impact on my immediate relationships. We’re blessed with emotions that can elevate experiences, bring a depth and wonder to life, make the highs higher and the lows lower, but emotions can do something else to us, as well. They can lie to us. When we have a thought like, “I have so much to do today. Ugh.” That “ugh” is emotion. It’s our response to the thought. And it is this emotion that sends this thought down a pathway in our minds that link it our threat detection system. This threat detection system is what causes so much anxiety. I mean, I definitely want my brain looking out for real threats to keep me safe from bears, break-ins, and other scenarios that can bring harm to me or others, but a thought, dude? Really? What is really leading to this funk, which can also be called burnout, is a loss of focus on The Kingdom of God. We start to center ourselves in the middle of everything, and ultimately, we being to lose focus on God and put the pressure on ourselves, resulting in feelings of stress, depression, burnout, autopilot, anxiety, frustration, and passivity. Matthew 6:33 says to “seek first the Kingdom of God, and everything else will be added to you.” We need to be reminded constantly where our faith should lie, not in ourselves and our own strength, but in the truth that we are adopted sons into the Kingdom of God through Christ’s atonement. Therefore, we shouldn’t operate as the world does, but as a citizen of the Kingdom that has come, but also “not yet”. When Jesus started his ministry he said, “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel.” Mark 1:15 If the Kingdom of God is at hand, but also not fully realized until Christ returns, then what encouragement we can have to rest in the fact that we can:

I want to know, dudes! Share you HIGHs, LOWs, and everything in between. How can we pray for you? Do you need direction on something? What has impacted you deeply this week? How can you cultivate more depth to your life? How's your marriage? Just some pointed questions you can roll with.

What’s up dudes!? Happy Monday! Wanted to focus this week’s discussion thread on leadership! No matter the career or position, we’re all leaders in some form or fashion. In our families, on the job, with our time and finances, even ourselves… how we lead today has the power to shape our tomorrow; not just for us but for those around us. 1. In what areas of your life do you lead well? 2. What areas of your life do you feel your leadership needs improvement? 3. In what ways do you desire to lead but haven’t been able to yet? BONUS: Feel free to share with the crew some of your own thoughts on leadership and what it means to you! SO, Let’s talk about it! Share your honest thoughts below and let’s show each other some support and encouragement! Hope you absolutely crush this week! Hugs and High Fives! And as always , BE THE DUDE 👊🏽⚡️💪🏽