Don't worry, nothing's wrong. I've just decided that all my resources will continue to be available to you all without the subscription wall. We will move our community back to Facebook. If you're currently using any resources, they are all still available at www.phillipliao.squarespace.com I will be removing this group in the next two days!

I have been sick for the last 5 days with the most serious of colds... Influenza A. So this is my attempt to 'demonstrate' some level of productivity. Even when I lied in bed with a resting heart rate of 80bpm (my normal range is 45-50), I struggled to let myself simply 'rest.' In my own feverish state, I was telling myself... 'Even though I'm sick, I can still think of ideas! That's still working!' This was at 3am, when I could feel my heartbeat in my skull, and I had to wipe sweat off my body every 5 minutes. Somehow, I drifted off to sleep. When I woke up a few hours later, head still throbbing, shirt drenched, I woke up to the 'dream' of missing my alarm for work. Despite turning off my alarm the day before, my body was still conditioned to 'waking up' at 4:30am to make sure I get to work on time. Years ago, I used to think this was a good thing. It was a 'badge' of some sort to never miss a day at work. And to be able to 'turn up' even when I was tired. Now that I'm 31, I realise the futility of this thinking. Because overall, I've been sick for almost 9 weeks in a row. I first started feeling sick mid May. I am about to finish my medication by the end of July. It is this exact mentality - the attachment to productivity, that is getting my body into trouble. I am by no means old, don't get me wrong. I am physically fitter than most people in this world. But even I have pushed my own needle too far - to the point where for the first time in my life... I was concerned for my body. Most of us in this group are 30s+, and some of us rely on our bodies for income. For me, I am a coach and a lot of my work involves teaching movement. My physical health is almost directly proportional to my ability to generate income. So I am incredibly sensitive to the perils of ill physical health. My job isn't even heavily physical either. I just teach and move around all day. I don't ever lift anything heavy. There are people out there doing physical labour as their main work.

This is one of the most common questions we ask ourselves before we embark on something new. For example, 'I want to start my own cafe... but it's so competitive.' Or, 'I want to make a sporting team... but it's so competitive.' Or, 'I want to get that senior role... but everyone is applying for it.' Although there is some semblance of truth to the competitive nature of all those examples, I want to share a piece of wisdom I received when I was 22, from a well-known strength and conditioning coach. At the time, I was considering a career in strength and conditioning but I had the exact same concern. 'Are there jobs for me? Isn't it really competitive?' Undoubtedly, he'd heard this question many times before. And as head of strength and conditioning at NSWIS, he was in the position where he DID have a job. He said: 'I've heard this many many times, and I can understand where it comes from. So I'll just say this...' he paused. 'Someone's gotta do it.' I didn't fully comprehend this statement until much later on in life. What does it even mean - someone's gotta do it? It wasn't until I decided to compete for the best in Australia that I realised what he meant. It takes a very special person to be number 1 at anything. Whether it is writing, music, sport, or business. Part of their specialty is they have an insatiable thirst to improve at what they do - this is important. But another part of the intangibles is they are willing to do what others won't. And it is because they do this that they end up in the position that they actually are. This really dawned on me one day when I was at a friendly dinner, with some other weightlifters. We were talking about our training regime. At the time, I was already a national level weightlifter, with a 95kg snatch and 120kg clean and jerk at 62 kilograms bodyweight. One of the other weightlifters commented 'oh man that's amazing... I'm 20kg heavier than you and my best snatch is only 70kg.' In an attempt to be humble, I said... 'Oh but I've been doing it longer than you!' (which is true).

I had just finished training last night. It was a great session. I left on a high, ready to head home and 'chill'. Instead, when I turned on my engine, I heard a grinding noise. What the hell? I rolled the car a bit more. Still. A grinding noise. Oh shit. I think my tire's flat. I quickly park my car off to the side. Lo and behold - my front tire was flat. Disbelief flashed in my heart. Oh man. Of all times? Okay, now I've got a flat tire - what next? Well - I've got to change it. Do... you know how to change a tire, Phil? Yes, I do. And I have. But that was at LEAST 8 years ago. So the correct answer is... 'yes', with the addition of 'but I don't remember.' Here I am in the carpark at 8pm, freezing cold, standing in my Muay Thai shorts, wondering how the hell I'm going to get home. I open my trunk and grab my spare tire, as well as my toolkit. Okay, I have the tools. I just don't have the knowledge. Where do I find the knowledge? YOUTUBE! I open my phone. Let's do this, Youtube. Oh wait, I've got 15% battery left. Shibal (that's fuck, in Korean). I google 'Honda Civic 2017 tire change' - and a 5 minute video comes up. Bitch, I ain't got 5 minutes on my phone. I'm on 15%. But it's got 100k views so maybe it's helpful. I watch the first 2 minutes. I'm down 1%. She's speaking so slow that it irritates me. Fuck this. Let's call my dad and see what he says. Me: Hey dad, my tire is flat. Dad: Okay. ... Dad: Do you know how to fix it? Me: Er... kinda? Dad: okay try. call me back if you don't have an issue. Me: yeah mad, thanks. -end call- Alright, it's me and youtube. I feel a wave of anxiety wash over me. It's a surge of energy. Let's solve this problem, my body is telling me. I breathe a few breaths. I sense my mind clear. Okay, let's try youtube again but this time, give it 2 minutes. So I do. I start to see how it works. Wait - I can do this. I start unscrewing the tire nail things. Oh - this is easier than I thought. I start raising the car with the jack.

Have you found your 'inner peace?' Do you feel like you are 'worthy?' Do you love yourself? As the title suggests, I think this is one of the most harmful ideas to mental health. I think it's fucking stupid. End post. Just kidding. Of course I'm going to explain why. In two reasons. So buckle in, my friend. Reason 1 - Do we even know what love is? Love is an overused word in English. I 'love' that. I 'love' this shoe. I 'love' this shirt. The same word is used to describe 'love' for a family member. 'Love' for a friend. As well as 'love' for your spouse. On a gravitas level - how could you possibly equate the 'love' for a shirt to 'love' for a child? You can't. But a simple explanation would be, the 'love' being described is different. Which is fair enough, right? To me, not really. Because you can just say I 'like' that shirt. Or I 'like' that shoe. In Cantonese (my mother tongue), the word 'love' is rarely used to anything other than the most SERIOUS relationships - like family, close friends and relationships. It is not common dialogue to say 'I love my shoe.' Similarly, many people use the word 'love' as a descriptor for what they feel. But... your feeling changes from time to time, does it not? There are days when you don't feel the heightened sense of fervor for your spouse. Do you still love them? Or do you love them less? Or do you not love them at all? What happens when you fight and you do NOT like your spouse? Do you not love him/her in that moment? So for me, 'love' cannot be an adjective of a feeling. Because how you feel will change. Love is a powerful word. It should be ABOVE the fluctuations of a feeling. What is it then? Love is a verb. It is an ACTION word. This meaning works best because you can choose to love someone regardless of how you might feel. But as a verb, what does it mean? For me, to love someone is to always want what's best for them, many times at the expense of yourself. This is love in its' highest form. It is to place someone above your own needs, like fathers and mothers do for their children. This is love in action.