Why do women want kids in loveless marriages?

A guy DMed me today with a very interesting question. He referred to his parents, and the question boiled down too: Why did my mom want more kids (to where she begged him for a year for them) with dad when their relationship was pretty devoid of passion and desire?

I thought this was a great question so here was my response.

Important thing to remember here is that the internet tends to want to oversimplify complex issues because our sub-goldfish brains can't handle anything in depth anymore lol. And relationships are complex. But by oversimplifying these things, it leads to a lot of misconceptions and wrong answers when guys try to apply what they think they know to their situation. So questions like these are great because it can open us up to the complexity of relationships rather than the oversimplification that people tend to do.

So with that, yes, "Alpha Fucks Beta Bucks" concept is true... but that is an oversimplification as well. Women don't think on a conscious level in terms of "alpha guy I desire and want to fuck" vs. "beta guy I want resources from" or whatever. And there are more variables in play in relationships then those two things.

But most likely your mom, like many women, had milestones in her mind that she had been socially conditioned (while being supported by her instincts) to meet. And because of a woman's more rapid decline in mate value as she ages, those milestones are seen along a timeline more-so than men. You'll hear girls say shit like "I want to be married no later than 30, and I want to have at least 2 kids before I turn 35..." etc.

And most women never think consciously about their sexual desires with any awareness. And most women don't experience "good sex". So they end up settling with a guy who either isn't her best, or sex and burning desire isn't a high motivation for her. And when she thinks about her milestones like children, she sees her husband that she doesn't desire that much as the facilitator for those milestones. It's like a business decision for her rather then one made out of desire for her man. It's more about wanting "a baby" rather then "his baby."

And in any case, even if she does marry her "alpha, although women do want stability, they are also hardwired to be generally dissatisfied and unhappy when things stay the same for too long. And most couples (to include you parents) don't know how to manage desire so it stays mostly high long term.

So what happens is basically a woman gets bored, dissatisfied with her life, and then wants a baby because she thinks a baby will solve her dissatisfaction. What she doesn't realize is that NOTHING will solve her dissatisfaction. It's how a woman is wired. Women are inherently evolved to be unhappy when shit is stable for too long much more so than men. A guys frame (stuff I teach in mastermind) is designed to help her manage her natural dissatisfaction with everything, but most guys were never taught those skills to include your father. He sort of had to figure things out on his own as best as he could.

And so your dad was probably too busy worry about the practical shit like going to work and paying bills and so forth to want to just have a baby. Because deep down he knows that her unhappiness won't be solved by that like she thinks it will be. But he caves after being nagged for a year and then there is a baby. Mom is happy for awhile... until she is not. And then she will seek the next externality to obsess over. It's how women generally are until they can elevate their thinking. A man with good frame can help them elevate themselves, but not every woman is going to be capable of it.

People got married for practical means and tried to build a relationship from there throughout most of modern history. Marriage is highly impractical today in most cases, which is why I am not an advocate for it until some laws change. Your parents got married for the same reasons everyone else did; it was more practical than not. There wasn't passion and desire driving that relationship. Without passion and desire, this is the sort of thing that you end up with. Unhappy women just trying to find the next best thing to cure their unhappiness, only to be disappointed in the end because the problem exists within themselves.

What I teach here is how to NOT follow that path of enslavement for men, and life destruction for the women these guys allow themselves to be enslaved too.

Does that make sense? Discuss.

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