Why it's So Hard to Change Habits...and how to...

Part of why I love somatic coaching is that it's the meeting place of the body and the mind—bottom-up and top-down. This integration is powerful because as we begin to acknowledge the body and square up to the reality of things, we don't have to try so hard. Old symptoms and habits simply fall away.

For example, when it comes to eating well or working out consistently, we don’t have to force ourselves into rigid plans or punish ourselves for “falling off.” Instead, we can start to listen to what the body needs. When we eat foods that feel nourishing and energizing rather than following a plan out of guilt, the habit naturally sticks. Similarly, working out can stop being a chore and become something we look forward to because it feels good in our body.

We don’t have to work at being our best selves—we simply are that. Life becomes easier. We're not stuck in cycles of shame or guilt, trying to "fix" ourselves. Instead, we’re doing what feels good, naturally. We become the person we want to be, but without the exhausting effort. Our goals and habits start to align effortlessly, and we're no longer working against ourselves. Spending less time on our phones, for instance, can stop feeling like a “should” and become a choice because we notice how much more present and alive we feel when we’re not scrolling.

Sometimes, we can let go of the deeply ingrained habit or pattern of "trying hard" because that’s what we’ve relied on for so long. We may have learned to find value in effort—believing things only matter if they’re difficult.

We can shift this by cultivating a sense of comfort and safety in the body. When the body begins to feel safe, the mind can naturally follow. This creates space for the realization that life can, in fact, be simple and easy at times. Eating well, working out, or setting down the phone can come from a place of feeling good in your body, rather than forcing yourself to meet a standard. It’s about trusting that ease doesn’t mean we’re doing less; it means we’re finally aligned.

How might your life feel different if your healthy habits—like eating well, moving your body, and spending less time on your phone—came from a place of ease and alignment rather than effort or guilt?

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