Dec '23 in Discussion Topics
The Broken Heart
There are very few things in life that will so completely throw a person off course as a break up. The separation from someone we believed we loved. There are times when it feels as if the word “FOOL” is stamped in neon colors right across our forehead.
There is invariably a moment when we have to struggle with the idea of “I wasn’t enough”. That we weren’t handsome or pretty enough, that our weight was an issue, that we didn’t make enough money, that we just didn’t cut the mustard in some regard. That we just were not enough of whatever to be what we needed to be for this person towards whom we had such deep feelings.
So not only is our heart ripped out we are also left with the sordid information that we aren’t good enough.
There are a couple of choices at this crossroads. One may begin to try to understand the opposite sex. To outline their failings and perhaps get a glimpse into their thought process in order to be a masterful manipulator of the next victim in line.
There are whole schools of thought on this. Feminism and the Red Pilled community are the prime examples of the war between the sexes. Both of whom need to get laid.
Or, one may begin a serious routine of physical improvement. Training to be the prettiest peacock in the bar. Strong and fit. The handsome man with athletic thighs as the song goes. Or a beauty routine to have the greatest gams and glutes on the market.
Surely we will then be enough for someone. NO! Wrong answer!
The problem is that we are still waiting on someone else to tell us we are enough.
Do you know why confidence is one the sexiest attribute men or women possess? Because it means we are not cornered into playing this little game that is akin to Olympic level mental gymnastics telling someone everyday that they are enough. An encounter with a person who is still playing this game is demanding that someone else shoulder the burden of carting around their ego.
Here I am! I am all that you desire and you will placate my ego on the daily by reminding me how great I am.
Look, the bottom line is that NO ONE wants this responsibility no matter who they are.
The pain of the broken heart is of such tremendous value because it offers us the opportunity to try and grasp the idea that we build ourselves to be enough for ourself. No one else. You are it. Period.
But we are all familiar with the game. What an decidely unhealthy thing to engage in a romantic evening with a woman and wait for her to tell you that you are the greatest thing since sliced bread and then berate her or worse because dinner isn’t ready.
What an unwelcome comment from a woman that you didn’t make enough money or work hard enough to keep her in the style she prefers. To hear the shrill accusations that you aren’t doing it right as you desperately try to be enough.
People will develop all sorts of ways to attempt to deal with this. And stick it out for decades because it is familiar. Some few do manage to begin to understand that they want to be with a person for whatever reason and diligently apply themselves to the process of growth. They work together for the sake of living a dream.
Most people just quit. Fine. So be it. But do yourself a favor. Do whatever work is necessary for you to learn that you are enough for you. It is all you have.
This is what the examples of the solar deities dying and being reborn for thousands of years and in hundreds of cultures is trying to tell you.
This dark time of winter will pass and the sun (son) will be reborn into the world.
If you are faced with the task of rebuilding yourself, do it with you in mind. Do it with the mindset of I am building me to be enough for me.
Just as an ever warmer sun shines longer upon the Earth so too will you emerge from the challenges faced in the dark times of life.
Notice that no one is telling the sun(son) that it is good enough.
It simply shines the very best it can of its own accord.
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The Broken Heart
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