about a week ago ive hoped with trinley on the coaching group call we explored the mechanisms of my motivation we reached to a point where i theoretically dropped my desires of getting a degree, i instantly felt a tremendous relief , but it was too hard for me to fully let go , the call ended , and i continued to chew on the idea. the truth is , i wasnt ready to fully accept that maybe ive picked the wrong major and ive been fighting myself for nothing all this time, fighting up stream. i had a mini breakdown two days ago (which i promptly shared here lol) and i was genuinely feeling awful, thoughts began racing in my head and a sort of an inner civil war i cant really describe in words. this went on for a while until i went on an hour walk to clear my head (my body was so tense and agitated i couldnt stand still) then when i returned , it finally hit me. i opened the computer and i somehow had the idea to just check out the different majors i can take, i ended up on cognitive science and as i read the courses, in an instant, a flashing jolt, i realized that this was the major for me and i felt a giant elephant just getting off my chest i felt the greatest sense of relief and euphoria and ease ive felt in years like i can finally breathe again, like i can finally end the civil war i cannot emphasis this enough, but there may be parts you keep in the closet that are aching to come out, when i acknowledged this part , i felt focused, committed , motivated and clear headed and most importantly, i felt at peace. ironically when that happened, i actually did the thing i was procrastinating on doing for a couple of days lol. i felt a sense of alignment i havent felt in a long time i may or may not switch my majors, but it doesnt matter at this point, what matters is that ive acknowledged this desire within me and i can take it into account, even if i end up dropping out all together or even going for like an art degree or whatever atleast all the hands are now on deck.