Quick share here, and one I’m still absorbing but wanted to post while it’s fresh in my mind… A big reason my LTR and I split was a constant battle for power and frame that became exhausting at times. During some coaching calls, Paul tried to help me make the connection that my ex was fighting for perceived power as part of trying to feel safe, however if she could just surrender to the relationship and fall in my frame, she would actually GAIN power in the relationship. Last night I met up with my first European girl I’ve ever gone out with for drinks. She’s followed me on IG for awhile now but every time we tried to connect previously the timing was off. I’d like to share a few things she did that was different than the usual first date : 1. A few days before the date, she asked if I had any specific outfit requests. I decided to have fun with it, told her to send me pictures of the outfits she feels sexiest in and I’d pick my favorite. I chose this little red dress, and man it didn’t disappoint. It was a little gesture of wanting to look good for me, but as much as it put me in a dominant role picking her outfit, it also gave her power of her own. 2. I’ve gotten little gifts like cookies or baked goods from girls after a few dates, but never on the first date. We were meeting at a bar for drinks and after we sat down she said she had a surprise for me. She reaches into her jacket and pulls out a box of whiskey flavored chocolates. For those who know me, I hate chocolate, I’m usually too fitness focused to enjoy it, but coming from her and the way she gave it to me, not gonna lie it was a little special. Another example of how it could be perceived she is being “weak” by getting me a little gift, but in turn she leaned into her femininity which benefited both of us. 3. Her energy was very warm and flirty the whole night, which was a huge turn on. Little things like sticking her tongue out at me after making a joke, putting her hand on my leg, leaning in and putting her head on my shoulder while at the bar. It was such a warm way to act on a first date, and a complete shift from the typical behavior from girls in 2024. I want to make sure I’m driving the point home : by intentionally putting herself in my frame, SHE WAS GAINING POWER.
Continuation … with all that said , I think that vast majority of woman are capable of that behavior if they are attracted to that man , even if they don’t know exactly how . If they desire and trust they will find the way. I’m happy for you John as at times I have a bit of a similar situation with my LTR as you did with yours . When she act feminine and in my frame there is no girl in the world I could be more attracted to . Would love to hear from others on their experiences and observations .
John , I hate to admit you and Paul are 100% correct on this . I hate it because now a have a conundrum on my hands . I left number of “obstacles “ in her way like not allowing her to move in with me, not allowing her to work for me even though she would be awesome at it , in order to keep my mind clear and see things from a perspective whenever I need it . Still , if I had to let her go it would be very difficult for both of us . I don’t think me creating more barriers would be productive and I would much prefer to “solve it “ if there is something they can be done . Your situation is very similar to mine except for few years age wise. Also, I do feel somewhat responsible for moving her entire life to FL. Having said that , for now I will enjoy the time i share with her and keep on learning on this forum . Peace brother :)
Good afternoon gentlemen. Im long overdue for a introductory post as I rejoined the group a few months back after consulting with @John Rogalsky and setting up a call with Paul. I know some of you but most names I dont recognize so I'll get into a little backstory but most will be about looking forward along with some accountability posts to follow. I dont want to make this so long that guys dont read so if anybody wants me to elaborate more on any section then I will do a breakout post beyond what I write. In making the most out of this group, I encourage EVERYONE to put it ALL out there when discussing these things. You can't make the most out groups like this if the rest of us dont have the full picture when helping decipher the situation. I get that some may have details they dont want to share, but this group should be judgement free and provide tough love at the same time. Thats what we are all here to do - grow together and crush goals along the way. Looking forward to interacting with everyone. I turned 44 in Sept and got divorced a little over 5 years ago (she initiated but I filed). It was a typical marriage in many aspects. We met in our late 20's at work, seemed to have similar goals and enjoyed the same things (probably a little too much). We were married for almost 9 years and have an awesome daughter who I see every week but is still with her mom most of the time. She will be 12 on Nov 20th. Again, I wont get into details to keep the intro post short, but my ex came from a conservative family in south Mississippi and seemed to lean that way herself. We both worked for Lockheed Martin at the time, and she still does. Throughout the marriage we relocated a few times so she could get a promotion into a few different senior manager spots. I believe this is where things changed. she began to hang out with another woman from work pretty frequently until it turned into an affair of some sort (yes, that's not a typo). Pretty sure that she has been brainwashed by the leftist feminist propaganda on all fronts and she turned into a closet feminist of sorts. They now live together and my daughter spends most of her time there.
This weekend I had a good time with a girl I have been seeing for about a year now. We are casual, and have built a close relationship with ups and downs. Her Nick name is Bopers. I tell you this in cause you read my past posts about our relationship and it's evaluation, and my changes/ growth. Anyway. We had a good weekend full of Good food, good sex, fun times and memories made. But most of all insights and lessons. Girls get board in the bedroom if you don't evolveand level up in your sexual adventures. Would you all agree? It depends on the girl on what specific sexual adventures they want and you want. Some like it crazy wild and rough. All want to be dominated and degraded, and want comfort and love in various degrees. All girls well at least most get off on doing what makes the man happy and geting him off gets them off. It's about making us happy first and then also. All girls will get board if we do the same old things. All girls want a man to lead them on this sexual journey. They want the ride and the thril. A sexual story so to speak. How wild that story goes will be for you as the man to decided for your liking and also to figure out and lead for her liking also. In this cause it's me doing he discovering and learning by putting what I know into peactice. Please add your thoughts and feel free to give me insights as we all have bild spots we do not see. Now for story time! 😁 After a beautiful meal, Boppers and I head to the mall to do some window shopping. We go into spesors and start looking at all the sex toys, BDSM gear and sexy outfits. You name it we looked at it all. Everything from nipple clamps, to monster cock dildos. LMFAO! While looking I was taking a pule on her as to what she was interested in trying. I took down the nipple clamps and she was like "ohhhh I would try that....but maybe not...but actually yes I kind want to try it." She looked at the monster alien dildo on the wall, I was like would you try that. Her response was "Yes!.... I mean would you get off on watching me use it"? Lol she was asking to get a read on what she could do to make me happy.
I sent this to @John Rogalsky by Dm, but figured I would ask for clarity as to why girls put walls like this up, or in this case I feel a sexual action threshold. I coped pasted the DM directly below. @Paul Benjamin I just want clerty on why girls have the sexual action threshold and see if this was the resistance I saw below. This was a older woman 50 lol 😁. Her daughter is away at navy boot camp and kinda set us up at a going away party. Totally casual. The daughter worked under me at one point. No longer in thet organization. Long story short. I went on a few dates with one of my coworkers Mom's lol. She left for boot camp and interduced me at her going away party. We went out for drinks a few weeks later the first night at baccos wine bar. I texted her because I had got her number at the party but did not reach out for a few weeks. We had a fun time. We enjoyed some good drinks and conversations. She already knows that this was casual cuz her daught warned her I was not the settling down sort. Lol. I ended up making out with her after walking her to her car. ( That's normally the place I'll push for a first kiss). The 2nd date I texted her that we would hit the golf range, then come back to my place for some wine and fun. 🥂😏. We hit some balls. She was a bit self conscious and scared to hit the balls in front of others, but I made her get out of her comfort zone in a flirty way. We made out in my room. Had a good time, opened a bottle of wine. I even tied her up with some bdsm restraints. But after going for the pants to take them off she gave me the "be good line". And said sex is not happening. I just smiled and ended up taking off her shirt. I'm on top of her at this point. Sucking on her tits ext.. I go for the pants again and she said be good. This was the 2nd time of saying no. Basically 3 times. At this point she gave me a simaler line as she gave you. She asked me "are you mad, you are used to just getting your way with girls." Then went on to tell me about how she friend zoned her ex boyfriend . I laughed, said I never been friend zoned then said why the fuck would I be mad, in a playful voice. I took my pants off, and pulled my dick out and told her to suck it. She did. Like a pro. Ended up face fucking her. She told me to lay on my back. Long story short she gave one of the best blow jobs I have had and ended up cuming in her mouth. She did not even hesitate to swallow.
Hey Austin, I like your style :) The situation you describe brings back two memories. I’m not trying to project but after she drained your balls in her mouth the “ good girl “ agenda is no longer in play IMHO. My suspicion , as I had this happened to me few times is that she has some sort of insecurity about her pussy . Perhaps of a rug, not feeling fresh or dealing with some sort of a gift the altar boy ex boyfriend or ex husband left her ( had this situation twice ) . I would simply store the memory of this fun experience for when I got nothing in the bag and my dick will not take no for an answer if you catch my drift . I think a sensible thing is to let it play out on its own and if you think or should I say are somewhat sure it is nothing contagious let her continue honing her impressive cock sucking skills on your member :) I never had a situation where a girl would finally not give up her pussy. I enjoyed reading your post . Keep us updated .