Met with Paul about 3 years ago before I got remarried. The more I think about it, this person was damaged and never should have pursued. Here is the list that I didn’t pay attention to when we met. Can damaged women ever overcome??? My ex would fall into that category and maybe overlooked it all. 1. Father in prison for racketeering when she was 12-15 years old. 2. Pregnant at 19. Baby Daddy had no part of her kids life. She was shot at 23 and two people died in a mass shooting at her parents bar in 2001. 3. Married man 10 years older at 27 and was divorced 8 months later due to alleged inappropriate relations between his 15 year old son and exes 9 year old daughter. 4. Was in an off and on relationship with a guy for 10 years and nothing transpired. 5. Met her at 42. Family didn’t approve and daughter didn’t approve. 6. Two miscarriages with me. 7.Her main bartender that she knew for 30 plus years blows his brains out in April and she didn’t recover. I have take. Paul’s advice and have had no contact aside from logistics. I should be signing my mediation papers this week and will be divorced. We had a prenup. I am 46 and have a 7 year old. Really don’t know where to go from here dating moving forward. Will join the paid the community as soon as I can. Thanks for reading.

I went thru Paul’s divorce/breakup tutorial and it was fantastic. On the 14th it will be 60 days since I left my marriage and decided that divorce was the only option. Tomorrow is what would have been our only 3rd anniversary. 2nd marriages for both of us. I have had no contact besides the mediation and the selling of our home. Was just thinking a lot today about the past. I remember Paul saying those feelings are the nostalgic feelings. When he explains that it makes so much sense. I am just venting right now, but wanted to share. I’m gonna try to get into Paul’s community.

Howdy all, Wanted to share with the group in case anybody else may have to go through mediation with an ex spouse, at least where children are involved. I requested mediation - again - to try to resolve parenting time and legal decision making. Turns out both my kids are on PIP at school and one is one ADHD medication that I know she hates. Ex admitted both are having emotional problems. Well, the mediator (female) basically asked my ex if I could have "permission" to see my kids unsupervised and have some say so in their life regarding medications and medical. So you can imagine how that went. Now I will have to petition the court (lower case intended) to get some kind of custody, which they should give me. I haven't seen my kids in any natural way (without a supervisor or my ex hovering over them recording it) in 5 years. I've prepared myself that I really may not see them again before they're 18. By then they'll be so fucked up they probably won't want to see me. They're 10 and 12 and both already flirting with boys. Wear protection gentlemen. Even if you're careful you could unknowingly be sucked into this nightmare, that actually hurts kids worse than anybody else. The court found that spanking your children and calling your ex wife names via text and breaking dishes (behavior by both parties) over a 10 year marriage is significant domestic violence. If she keeps the evidence, and you delete yours then you may not see your children again. Just hearing my ex's whiny "I'm the boss" voice took me back to years worth of horrible relationship. It will never be good enough. You do not have parental rights in any meaningful way, and children do not have any rights. As a matter of fact based on what the mediator said I wonder if its getting worse for fathers (schools in Arizona may be able to prevent fathers from getting grade/school performance info). Probably since the marriage rate is down they really have to exploit those men who decide to get legally married. Divorce is big business for attorneys and governments.

Has anyone experienced sex with a Narc? For the record, I'm divorcing my narc wife. Didn't realize what i got myself into until diving deep into narc abuse and watching several of @Paul Benjamin 's videos. here's what I experienced: No eye contact, mostly doggy, enjoyment of sex in public places (or with windows open so people could see), and her inability to orgasm unless I put my knee between her legs. In other words: I was an object she would masturbate to. Afterwards, there was little to no cuddling. Half the time she would jump on her phone/instagram after the act. I figured at the time this is just how she got off. But looking back, I see how highly dysfunctional this was in comparison to my other relationships. over time, the sex diminished and I was told "I had to warm her up first" before wanting sex. I was also accused of only wanting her for sex and shamed for wanting it. Yea, I know, it's weird, but I'm sharing this so others don't fall into the trap.

Hello everyone. I appreciate any advice you can offer, and I look forward to contributing to the community in the future as I’m a new member. I have a question about intimacy during a no-contact period: I met my girlfriend when I was in my final year of university. We were both 23 and each other's first partners. The first five months were spent getting to know each other, and then I confessed my feelings for her, and we started dating officially. Months 6, 7, and 8 were spent being intimate with clothes on, and months 9 through 12 we began being intimate without clothes, though we didn’t engage in full penetration because we planned to get married later on. After a year of being together, I graduated and had to return to my home country, which forced us into a long-distance relationship for around eight months. Eventually, I decided to break up with her due to ongoing drama. It was a bad decision because I truly loved her, but I wanted to focus on myself. During our relationship, she frequently brought up marriage, but I kept refusing because I wasn’t financially stable. After the breakup, I realized I had been conditioned to believe money is the only key to a happy family, even though she had always reassured me that money didn’t matter to her—she just wanted to be with me. The way I broke up with her was terrible. She had just arrived in Italy for a three-month internship, and the very day she got there, I ended things, leaving her completely alone with no friends or family nearby. After 70 days, we reconnected when she sent me a message to check on me. During our no-contact period, I didn’t sleep with anyone else, as that goes against my values. When I asked her, she initially said she hadn’t done anything either, so I decided to try and win her back because I still loved her and deeply regretted leaving her. I could see myself growing old with her. I spent 30 days trying to rekindle our relationship, and eventually, she accepted. We told our families about each other and agreed to start dating again.