How to Silence the 'Bitch Voice' and Take Your Shot

2d ago (edited) in Approaches & Experiences

So tonight, I had one of those moments that really puts you to the test. I was heading down to my apartment gym, just planning to stretch. I was the only one there at first, but then a girl walked in. We made eye contact, and she smiled. I kept doing my thing—stretching and journaling about a post on the importance of stretching—but then I decided to write down, “I’m going to walk up to her and simply ask her opinion on stretching and her routine.” That’s when the “bitch voice” kicked in, whispering, “Dude, you’re exhausted, you probably shouldn’t go up to her.”

But then the other voice—the one I’ve developed—spoke up. It said, “Imagine how good you’re going to be at approaching if you can do it right now, in this state.” This is the same mindset I take into the gym: when I don’t want to go, that’s exactly when I have to go. So I decided, screw it, and walked up to her.

I asked if I could get her opinion on something, and she started showing me a couple of basic stretches she does. I mentioned that my body’s messed up and I need a solid routine. Here’s where your body language becomes key. Fidgeting or looking uncomfortable immediately lowers your social value. So, I stood in a relaxed position, slightly turned away from her, like I didn’t care too much if she was there or not. Keep it cool, like you could walk away at any moment.

She mentioned she had just moved here two weeks ago, and since I’d moved here a few months ago, we chatted briefly about that. Here’s another important tip: don’t ask for a girl’s name. When she asks your name, it’s an Indicator of Interest (IOI), which she did. I told her my nickname, Skippy, and it got a reaction—unusual nicknames are great for that.

We kept talking, and she said something a bit odd after I told her I’m going to finish up my stretching—she mentioned she'd be watching me stretch in the mirror. I took that as another IOI. Then, as I was stretching, she moved closer to me. This is a classic move from girls who are interested but maybe shy—they won’t make direct eye contact or approach, but they’ll position themselves near you, waiting for you to engage.

I went up to her between sets and asked if she could take a video of me doing a handstand (which I attached below). She asked what it was for, and I kept it mysterious, saying it was just some fitness content I’m working on. After she messed up the first video, we joked around about it, and she started coughing. I playfully asked if she’d been vaping too much, and she laughed, saying it was just allergies.

I got her Instagram (easily could’ve gotten her number, but I’ve been focusing on being more selective with the girls I’m going after lately—moving from quantity to quality). This girl had a great body, but I’m making an effort to be very selective with my choices. I talked to a client yesterday who said he only approaches girls he wants to sleep with. I told him that’s a bad strategy if you want to improve your social skills, because it limits the amount of approaches you make. Especially if you're out at a bar/club, you need warm-up approaches to get in the ideal mental state.

As I was about to leave the gym, she stopped me. I had music playing through my glasses, so I turned it off, and she asked about it. I let her try them on and told her I wanted to use them when I approach people for content, but there is no way to turn the flash off on them and I have a new pair coming (would’ve kept it more mysterious if I was trying to smash). I showed her the flash on them and took a quick video (I’ll drop that below so you guys know everything I’m saying here is true) Then she mentioned a yoga class happening Thursday and suggested I should go. I pulled out my phone to write it down, which shows people you actually care about what they say. I said, “I guess I’ll see you at yoga on Thursday,” and she agreed.

Lesson learned: always take the shot when you get the opportunity. Regret is way worse than rejection, and whenever that excuse pops into your head, listen to the other voice telling you it’s bullshit.

Now, it’s bedtime for me. I’m going to flip to a random page in the Bible and start reading. Take action and don’t let the “bitch voice” control your choices. Night y’all!

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