Hello guys, I've been going out specifically to cold approach (CA) for the past five days without any previous experience, and I've been very introverted most of my life. Long story short, I did one approach, and I didn't handle the conversation well, but the girl was happy that I talked to her, so at least one good thing came out of this. I learned a lot of things about myself in the process. I aim to include a lot of details so this is probably going to be a longer post. Bear with me guys. Also, this post serves for me as a self-analyzing document and for tracking my progress. The information here is completely unfiltered and honest. My struggles ======== 1. Neverending excuses This is so far the most common issue I have. No matter the girl, no matter the situation, my brain always comes up with a perfect excuse why not to approach the girl. The most common excuses: - There are too many people around her - not appropriate (fear of embarrassment) - She's with a friend - Don't want to approach groups without experience (fear of embarrassment) - She's eating - approaching or longer conversation can be intrusive (might be a valid excuse) - The age doesn't add up - not appropriate (might be a valid excuse) - She is in a hurry - not appropriate (fear of rejection or being intrusive) - She's out of my league (fear of rejection) (does not happen often) - She shows no IOIs (indicator of interest) - (doesn't even make sense for CA) - Generally not appropriate to approach due to something... 2. Waiting for IOI (indication of interest) confirmation Some girls show IOIs. But I consider that to be confirmed after showing at least 2-3 IOIs. In the past 5 days, I realized that I wait for the confirmation often. However, the problem is that in my experience, most of the girls are shy, and will only provide me with the confirming IOI once they are sure that they see you for the last time, and it is too late to act. Note: I try to learn and train CA. I shouldn't even care about IOIs at this point...

So tonight, I had one of those moments that really puts you to the test. I was heading down to my apartment gym, just planning to stretch. I was the only one there at first, but then a girl walked in. We made eye contact, and she smiled. I kept doing my thing—stretching and journaling about a post on the importance of stretching—but then I decided to write down, “I’m going to walk up to her and simply ask her opinion on stretching and her routine.” That’s when the “bitch voice” kicked in, whispering, “Dude, you’re exhausted, you probably shouldn’t go up to her.” But then the other voice—the one I’ve developed—spoke up. It said, “Imagine how good you’re going to be at approaching if you can do it right now, in this state.” This is the same mindset I take into the gym: when I don’t want to go, that’s exactly when I have to go. So I decided, screw it, and walked up to her. I asked if I could get her opinion on something, and she started showing me a couple of basic stretches she does. I mentioned that my body’s messed up and I need a solid routine. Here’s where your body language becomes key. Fidgeting or looking uncomfortable immediately lowers your social value. So, I stood in a relaxed position, slightly turned away from her, like I didn’t care too much if she was there or not. Keep it cool, like you could walk away at any moment. She mentioned she had just moved here two weeks ago, and since I’d moved here a few months ago, we chatted briefly about that. Here’s another important tip: don’t ask for a girl’s name. When she asks your name, it’s an Indicator of Interest (IOI), which she did. I told her my nickname, Skippy, and it got a reaction—unusual nicknames are great for that. We kept talking, and she said something a bit odd after I told her I’m going to finish up my stretching—she mentioned she'd be watching me stretch in the mirror. I took that as another IOI. Then, as I was stretching, she moved closer to me. This is a classic move from girls who are interested but maybe shy—they won’t make direct eye contact or approach, but they’ll position themselves near you, waiting for you to engage.

Field report coming in y’all. I was walking to the store today looking sexy as hell, looking fresh. I was running an errand with my mom and dad, we chilled for a bit and we proceeded to walk home as the store isn’t too far from our house. We begin walking up this hill and I see that I’m way past them. As I was walking up I see two girls walking down my direction, my heart begins pounding as I haven’t been outside for a while. I felt like saying nothing but I said to myself “shut the fuck up and just say hi.” Who cares what happens, if they don’t say anything it’s cool, if they say hi back I can start a short convo. To make my heart beat slower I start doing deep belly breathes, in through the nose and out through the mouth. And so that’s what I did. I took my deep breath, I said hi and at first they didn’t say anything for a couple of seconds. Then out of nowhere the short one said “You so handsome” and the other said “Ooo yo shoes look so nice” and my smile grew even bigger. I ask them if they were new here and they said yes and smiled, I then say “I’ll see you around then” and we part ways. That’s a win in my book, this interaction is showing me the importance of just being outside and being around people to stay socially calibrated.

I recommend for everyone to build up your confidence around girls, I did that by cold aproaching at least 1 girl a day (that i found atractive). And also these days all girls are obsessed with social media so build a professional instagram account and reach out to cute girls in ur area, or u can also use snapchatt and add some girls and just by texting u will improve, Just Be Yourself and you will get what you want! Also be different from others and be the smooth one who just can slide in dm’s and go to a date and have a great night with her after 1st or 2nd meetu up/date. Whenever you feel like u just can’t go up to her and just say hello or compliment just think of you standing on a cliff , whenever u feel afraid to jump, that’s when you jump , otherwise u end up staying in the same place. Also you can just say to girl “hey, i think your beautiful” and just walk away and don’t ask for anything, she will be in shcok and maybe even run after you, because these days girls expect that men will ask for their number or something like that.

Alright, guys—it’s time to put all that confidence and strategy into action! Your mission this week: approach someone new—whether it’s at the gym, a coffee shop, or anywhere else. It doesn’t matter who, it’s about flexing that social muscle and stepping out of your comfort zone. When you’re done, come back here and share your experience—what went well, what you learned, and how you felt afterward. Remember, it’s all about progress, not perfection. Each step forward builds that social fortitude. Let's see those approaches and celebrate the wins (and even the lessons). Let’s get after it! ⚡ Comment below once you've completed the challenge!