The Confidence to Act Now · Skippy's Social Vault

The Confidence to Act Now

One of the biggest reasons people don’t approach someone in public is the list of excuses they create in their heads. “They’re too busy.” “I’ll come off awkward.” and even “They wouldn’t want to talk to me” But here’s the truth: those excuses are just walls built by fear. They aren’t real. Every moment spent rationalizing why you shouldn’t approach is a missed opportunity to step into your power.

As John D. Rockefeller once said, “Smart people use their minds to find reasons why things shouldn’t be done.” Instead of focusing on the barriers, shift your mindset to: “How can I make this happen?” Rockefeller would ask himself every day, “How can I do better?” Never “Can I?” because improvement is always possible. This change in perspective is what separates those who take action from those who stand still.

When you approach someone, there’s no room for hesitation. That’s where the 3-second rule comes into play—an idea from The Game by Neil Strauss. If you see someone you want to talk to, give yourself just three seconds to take action. Don’t overthink it. Count in your head—one, two, three—and go. This rule forces you to silence doubt and move with intent.

If you take longer than that, you risk overanalyzing the situation and might end up standing there, staring, which can come off as creepy.

I’ll admit, I still get nervous before I approach—it’s natural. But over time, I’ve built a mindset that views rejection as a positive. Every “no” is a lesson, a step forward in growth, and a reminder that taking action is always better than standing still. Rejection is never personal, and each experience sharpens your confidence for the next time.

But here’s another common mistake: approaching someone directly from behind or straight on, especially women—it can be startling and off-putting. Instead, come in from an angle, allowing them to see you approach in a more relaxed and natural way. Once you’re there, it’s not just about what you say, but how you listen. The goal is to improve as a listener with every conversation, because listening is an art—and one of the most essential skills you can develop.

Next time you see someone you want to talk to, remind yourself: I’m interested in what they have to say. Then take a deep breath, smile, and act within those first three seconds. You’ll be surprised how much easier it becomes.

Most people are happy to share advice and their opinions, so if you’re in a coffee shop, start by asking something simple, like, “What’s your go-to coffee here?” If you’re in line for food, you could ask, “What’s your favorite thing to grab hear, I don’t order from here often?” This opens the door to a natural conversation. Follow up with a funny anecdote or a genuine compliment. From there, you can smoothly transition into a deeper conversation by being genuinely curious and engaged in what they have to say.

As Robert Greene teaches in The Laws of Human Nature, the most successful people are exceptional listeners. They treat every conversation as a chance to uncover something new. Think of the person in front of you as an undiscovered country, rich with experiences and ideas. When you approach a conversation from this perspective, you’ll find yourself more curious about their thoughts, rather than focusing on your next words. Most people aren’t truly listening—they’re just waiting for their turn to speak. Be different. Be present.

No more excuses. Instead of finding reasons not to act, ask yourself, “How can I make this work?” You are fully capable of making the first move. Regret from never trying or doing is far worse than rejection. Don’t let another opportunity pass you by—take the shot. You’re ready.

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